Showing posts with label celebrities. Show all posts
Showing posts with label celebrities. Show all posts

Friday, December 18, 2009

Celebrities Without Makeup

We haven't embarrassed any celebrities lately, so perhaps it is time we perplexed a few by showing you what some of them really look like sans makeup. The science or art of adding makeup to a face appears to have come a long way in the last few years, at least considering some of the differences in the before and after photos that we have gathered here.

Let's take a look (hover your mouse over the photo to pause the array):



One would have to say that there are some real shockers here, such as Sharon Stone and Goldie Hawn. Now those two have aged a bit lately, but Sharon and Goldie really attest to the wonders of what modern makeup can do for a woman's looks.

We remember one post we had from a while back about how nearly anyone could become a supermodel because makeup is now able to hide a plethora of flaws in a model's skin. That post featured a video of exactly how a makeup artist transforms a relatively attractive model into one who appears very glamorous and remarkably beautiful.

The post is at Redneck Super Models. Check it out.

Back at our slideshow, Actress Rene Zellweger's before and after photos are another example that is a bit surprising, and how about Pamela Anderson? You would probably not recognize her before photo at first glance.

Pamela was first discovered when she was quite young at a sporting event, when a cameraman put her on the Jumbotron screen because she looked so pretty. In fact when the audience saw her on the screen they went wild because she looked so good.

Like anyone else the years have taken their toll on Pamela's good looks, but she jumps right into the fountain of youth when the right makeup artist plies his or her trade, taking off the years and transforming Pamela into a great beauty once again.

Jerry Hall once was a supermodel and is the former wife of Mick Jaggar of the Rolling Stones. Without her makeup one would never guess that is the face of a supermodel.

And how about Jessica Simpson? Wow! That one really surprised us. Without her makeup she looks like an Okie from Oskogie. Plus she is only 30 years old, so she still has youth on her side. Despite all of that her no makeup photo makes her look like any other WalMart shopper.

Kate Hudson sure has her work cut out for her, trying to pass for a movie star. Without makeup she would not have a chance of making it on the big screen.

It is a good thing the rest of us do not have to depend on our looks to get us by. What a challenge that would be.

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Sunday, September 20, 2009

Mary Travers - Not Your Average Folk Singer

Mary Travers, singer, songwriter and unforgettable member of the folk singing group, Peter, Paul and Mary, died a few days ago on September 16, 2009 at the age of 72. Peter, Paul and Mary made their presence known on the international stage at a time when songs often carried a message along with a tune, and Mary and her cohorts, Peter Yarrow and Paul Stookey's, songs carried more messages than most.

In the 1950s and the 1960s patriotism had not been hubristically claimed as the exclusionary property of any political party or philosophy, so the spirit of patriotism was shared by all Americans and hogged by none.

In that same spirit we present Peter, Paul and Mary singing "This Land is Your Land" and performed live in Japan, no less:



***

Mary Travers understood that music and song did not work if they were not fun, so she and the group also popularized songs that had no real message but were most definitely fun. Some were thought to be children's songs, but adults loved them every bit as much as the kids did.

Here are Peter, Paul and Mary singing "Puff the Magic Dragon:"



In one concert I attended the group jokingly ridiculed the concept that "Puff" was a veiled reference to marijuana because music critics had been attempting to draw parallels between the lyrics and drug use. Puff was merely a fun children's song and nothing more.

***
Vanessa Hudgens
Britney Spears
Celtic Woman Videos

Citations

1) Mary Travers (singer), http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mary_Travers_(singer); Wikipedia. Retrieved 9/20/2009

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Monday, April 7, 2008

That Man Ain't No Marlon Brando - Beware the Penguins!

Friends, I am here today to warn you of an impending disaster that is of such a perilous nature that no similar calamity has ever before seen the light of day. I am talking about a man-made catastrophe so dire and so dastardly that I shudder even to think of the pernicious consequences should this misdeed ever come to pass.


Folks, if you please, cast your gaze upon the first photograph in today’s post. Compare that, please, to the second photo. At first glance you might be fooled into thinking that the two photos are one and the same.


The photos are allegedly taken from a scene in the movie, The Godfather. In the background, you will notice one Sonny Corleone, played by actor James Caan. To the left is Bonasera, played by Salvatore Corsitto. To the right is supposed to be Vito Corleone, played by the great Marlon Brando.

However, the man in the first photo is no Marlon Brando!

Our third photo is a very short video of the same exact scene in the movie. Notice how the godfather’s gestures are the same classic moves that you see throughout the movie. That is Marlon Brando in the short film clip; of that, there is no doubt.


The Godfather

The man masquerading as Marlon Brando in the first photo is, in reality, a penguin! This woeful bird has infiltrated the ranks of Hollywood’s famous actors. And he is not alone.

Peruse, if you will, the fourth photograph and you will find one Penguin from the movie, Batman Returns. The Penguin in this film is played by actor Danny DeVito. Did you catch the similarity in names? Danny DeVito and Vito Corleone? That similarity is no coincidence.

Now compare the next photo, which juxtaposes the profiles of the Penguin from Batman Returns and the imposter Marlon Brando in the first photo. Notice the similarities?

Clearly, the actor in the first photo is also a penguin.

Ladies and gentlemen, the penguins are infiltrating the Hollywood movie industry at an alarming rate.

But, why you ask. Why would the penguins want to sneak into the film industry? What could be their motive?

To learn the answer to that, you must watch the short video. This video is a previously unreleased film taken from one of the United States’ secret spy satellites that fly high overhead, constantly circling the globe. These satellites are America’s watch dogs in the sky, and until now, this film has been classified “Top Secret.”.

The US Department of Homeland Security has declassified and released this short film to warn the American public of an imminent threat against our way of life. Please watch the short video now.




The video exposes an enormous gathering of Antarctic penguins in a joyous celebration of some sort. Now that you have seen the video, you know. The penguins are really Al Qaeda in disguise.

Al Qaeda has infiltrated the penguins, who have in turn penetrated the movie industry. The motive is obvious. Al Qaeda wants to steal the minds of America’s children by saturating the film industry with their saboteurs.

They have chosen penguins because penguins are so cute.

But, the last photo shows the true character of Al Qaeda in action. Clearly, their character is so anti-social that they must constantly fight--even among themselves, if that is the only adversary that they have to fight.

Redneck Penguins

In the same manner that Al Qaeda steals the minds of Islamic youth throughout the madrasas of the Middle East in hopes of turning innocent children into suicide bombers, Al Qaeda now intends to brainwash America’s children.

By surreptitiously embedding their fanatical beliefs into the minds of America’s children through films, Al Qaeda aspires to turn our own children against us.

Al Qaeda believes that they can eventually take over America by stealing the minds of our youth at an early age. It is a menacing plot of the most drastic proportions.

We must stop this potentially devastating plan by protecting our children at all costs.

My friends, the time for action has come. We must not pause, and we must not falter because the fate of our children hangs in the balance.

Praise the Lord, pass the ammunition and beware of the penguins!

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Sunday, March 30, 2008

A Raft of Irish Drinking Stories, Blessings and Proverbs

It is our pleasure to present a raft of Irish drinking stories, Irish Blessings and Irish Proverbs. One of the special enjoyments of indulging in these Irish treasures is the absence of any hangover the morning after.

Doctor O’Dwyer, an Irish psychiatrist working at a New York mental asylum, planned to take some of his more well-adjusted patients to a New York Yankees baseball game. So, for a few weeks in advance, he coached them on their behavior and how they should respond to his commands while attending the game.

Once game day arrived, his patients appeared to be responding well to his orders. The national anthem began playing and the good doctor ordered, "Up Nuts," and his patients all promptly stood up.

When the anthem had finished, he yelled, "Down Nuts," and all of the patients immediately sat back down.

The home team hit a home run, so Doctor O’Dwyer yelled, "Cheer Nuts." The patients obediently applauded and cheered.

Then the umpire made a close call against Derek Jeter, a Yankees star player. So the doctor yelled, "Boo Nuts!" and his patients began booing.

The doctor was very pleased about how well things were going, so he decided to go to the men’s room leaving his medical assistant in charge.

But upon returning, the doctor found a riot, and his patients were in fist fights with the nearby fans. The doctor pushed his way through the fighters, found his assistant and asked, "Good Lord, man! What on earth happened?"

His assistant replied, "Everything was going just fine until a vendor walked by and yelled, "Peanuts!"

*****
An Irish blessing by E. Gary Brooks, a remarkable poet:

Take me home to Shamrock Hill
The glorious place of my birth
Where the glens are green and the heather grows,
‘Tis the prettiest place on earth.
The wind blows free and the air is fresh
And I still hear a rippling rill.
My heart is sad, but it could be glad.
Take me home to Shamrock Hill.

*****

A true Irishman can argue either side of a question, often at the same time.

*****

Paddy Harrington and Mick O’Shea were strolling home after a night of Guinness when a severed head suddenly rolled along the ground landing right at their feet.

Mick picked up the head and held it up to his face saying to Paddy, "Saints preserve us Paddy! But, doesn’t that look like Sean to you."

Paddy replied, "No Mick, Sean was taller than that, he was."

*****
May joy and peace surround you,
Contentment latch your door,
And happiness be with you now
And bless you evermore.

*****

It was teacher appreciation day at Saint Mary’s school in County Cork, and Miss O’Hara, a kindergarten teacher sat at her desk receiving gifts from her students.

Tommy Flanagan, the florist's son, handed her his present. Miss O’Hara shook it and held it above her head saying, "I’ll bet I know what this is. It’s Flowers.”

"That's right!" Tommy said. "How did you know?"

“It was just a wild guess,” said Miss O‘Hara.

Molly Kane, the candy store owner's daughter, brought up her present next. Miss O’Hara held the gift aloft, shook it a bit and said, "I know what this is. It‘s a box of candy!”

“Wow! That's right, Miss O‘Hara! But how did you know?" asked Molly.

“Just a lucky guess, Molly” Miss O’Hara said.

Next was Billy Kelly, the liquor store owner's son. Billy presented a large box to Miss O’Hara, who, again, held the gift high over her head.

This gift was leaking, so Miss O’Hara dabbed a drop of the leakage on her finger and tasted it. "Is it wine?” she asked.

“No, Miss O’Hara,” Billy replied.

The teacher tasted another drop of the leakage with her tongue. "Perhaps it’s champagne?" she asked.

“No, Miss O‘Hara,” Billy again replied, smiling because the teacher could not guess his present.

Then Miss O’Hara said, “I give up, Billy. What is it?”

Billy answered, “It’s a puppy!”

*****

May you be half an hour in Heaven Before the Devil knows you’re dead.

*****

And Have you forgotten that U2 is from Ireland? Now there is an accomplished band. Here is Beautiful Day by U2.



More Irish Humor

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Monday, March 17, 2008

More of the Funniest Elliot Spitzer Jokes - Videos - Cartoons

It's more of the best of the Elliot Spitzer jokes. In case you live on Jupiter, Elliot Spitzer was the governor of New York until he was recently caught in an FBI prostitution sting.

Our only problem is that there are so many good jokes to choose from. We consider that a challenge, so here are a few more Elliot Spitzer gems.


Aah! The Pretty Woman! A less than classic tale of a prostitute and a money monger with hearts of gold, which is a highly unlikely scenario. As I recall, Richard Gere and Julia Roberts live happily ever after in the movie, which, unfortunately for our Mr. Spitzer, is less than likely.

*****
This from Comedy Central's Stephen Colbert:

"I sat next to the guy three times and I didn't pick up on any of this, and I usually have excellent whore-dar."

*****

From Comedy Central's the Daily Show:



*****

There is so much truth to this cartoon. How many jokes do you hear about OJ Simpson or Paris Hilton right now? Not too many. Elliot Spitzer will fade into obscurity just like so many others once a new public patsy comes along.

*****
And you cannot have a proper representation of humor without the remarkably funny David Letterman. Here is a video of one of his recent monologues about the Elliot Spitzer affair:



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Saturday, March 15, 2008

The Funniest Elliot Spitzer Jokes - Videos - Cartoons - Funny Photos

New York's former governor, Elliot Spitzer, is the butt of countless new jokes. Here are a few of the better ones:

Jay Leno:

"Eliot Spitzer admitted publicly that he was involved in a prostitution ring, which means Hillary Clinton is now only the second angriest wife in the state of New York."

Speaking of angry wives, how about the body language on Silda Spitzer, the ex-governor's wife of the moment, in the photo below. In this case, one picture is worth at least 10,000 words:

*****
Here is more along the angry wife line of thought from the Arkansas Democrat Gazette:

*****
From New York comedienne Lisa Landry:

"It's just mind-blowing that he spent $4,300 on a hooker. It just shows how high the cost of living is in New York. That same hooker would cost $50 in Newark."

*****
David Letterman is probably my favorite comedian. Here is one of his recent monologues, which devotes almost the entire monologue to Elliot Spitzer:



******
From Conan O'Brien:

"Gov. Spitzer responded just a few hours ago. He said, 'I violated my obligations to my family and I violated my sense of what is right and wrong.' Spitzer also admitted violating someone named Amber."

*****
Here is another one about body language from Daryl Cagle at MSNBC.com:


*****

From Comedy Central and the Daily Show:



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Sunday, November 11, 2007

Vanessa Hudgens Wins Poll, Keeps Her Job

As promised we are posting the results of our poll about that oh so naughty Vanessa Hudgens. You will recall that we asked if should she be dismissed by the Disney Channel because she carelessly allowed nude photos of herself to be leaked onto the Internet.

Poor Vanessa has been the subject of intense scrutiny for two months now since the offending photographs seemed to spontaneously appear in virtually every corner of the Internet. It is rumored that even a few computer monitors at the Vatican in Rome strayed into the nether regions of the Internet for a gander at the risqué photos of the remarkably cute star of “High School Musical 2.”













Although we are certain that the Vatican’s purpose of visiting the loins of the Net was merely for educational reasons rather than simply prurient interest. How, for example, can a priest bestow a fitting penance to sinning parishioners without a complete understanding of the subject matter? He truly cannot. So, thus explains the only cause for any straying monitor from within the holy walls of the sacred Vatican City.

Hopefully, those wandering religious eyes had the prudence to protect their identity by using a proxy service. No need for the tabloids to cause a ruckus and turn a Hollywood un-scandal into a Vatican one.

Below is Vanessa’s video “Let’s Dance”



If you will recall the poll asked should Disney fire Vanessa Hudgens and hire someone new for the filming of High School Musical 3?

The possible answers:

1) Yes, Can the slut!
2) No, she’s way too cute.
3) No, make her wash my car while wearing her bikini instead.
4) Yes, and spank her in public.

Here are the Grand totals:
Yes - 29.2%
No - 70.8%

The results show a landslide victory for keeping Vanessa on to star in “High School Musical 3.”

The powers that be at the Disney Channel were obviously listening, because it was reported this week that, yes, Disney definitely intends to keep Vanessa on for HSM3. It was also reported that she has signed to do the sequel at a substantial raise, no less.

It obviously pays to be both talented and incredibly cute.

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Monday, October 29, 2007

Register Your Vote to Fire or Not Fire Vanessa Hudgens

Should Disney fire Vanessa Hudgens and hire someone new for the filming of High School Musical 3? Register your vote in our totally unscientific poll.

To refresh your memory, Vanessa is that remarkably cute 19-year-old actor that starred along side Zac Efron in High School Musical 2, which is a huge hit on the Disney Channel. The tweens all seem to love it and anything else about HSM2.

Someone leaked photos of Vanessa in her completely natural state onto the Internet back in September. The photos were taken when she was 15 or 16-years-old, which would probably make them child pornography from a legal standpoint.

Since then, the tabloids, the Hollywood TV shows, and the tablogs or blogoids (blogs that gossip about Hollywood stars) have been constantly circulating and re-circulating rumors that Vanessa will be fired.

So far, Disney has stuck by her, but some Hollywood insiders insist that Vanessa getting canned is only a matter of time.

It is probably time that the public weigh in on the matter, so now you have a chance to cast your votes in our poll. You get to help decide Vanessa’s fate by voting in the sidebar column to the right. Results will be published on November 11th.


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More Zac Efron...


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Friday, October 19, 2007

How Salma Hayek Got Her Breasts



Well, imagine that! Salma Hayek teaches us that there is yet one more use for holy water. It obviously pays to investigate the unknown. Can you imagine how Salma might look if she had not received quite as much assistance from the Good Lord in this department? Thank the Man upstairs for His divine intervention.

When God puts his hand into the mix, He obviously does not mess around. He gets the job done right. It is too bad that He did not have as much input when Britney Spears was in line to receive her behavior genes. Obviously, she was somewhat shortchanged in that area.


But, maybe it is not too late. What might happen if we follow the Brit around some night when she is out clubbing? We could mix a small dose of holy water into Britney’s vodka and tonic and see what develops.

Hmmm. Perhaps we should mix in a large dose? Because curing Britney’s behavior issues may prove to be quite a challenge, it would probably require a rather large dose. Maybe holy water comes in gallon jugs (sorry for the pun). While we’re at it, we better shoot for a keg or two.

On the other hand, if celestial inspiration can work such wonders in the arena of mammary enhancement, it stands to reason that it also may have some influence on the men’s side of the issue.

Then again, it is getting a bit late. It might be wise to leave penile enhancement for another time. Searching for an example of the Lord’s handiwork in this field leaves the patrons here at McCafferty’s Pub a little cold.

More Britney Spears Humor...
More Celebrity Humor...
Watch Britney Drive Over a Paparazzo's Foot
Have You Tried Irish Viagra?

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Saturday, October 13, 2007

Britney Spears Caught Pantyless Again October 2007


Well, believe it or don't, Britney Spears has been caught pantyless again by the paparazzi. Here are a couple of photos of Britney exiting her car and, at the same time, exposing her virginia for all to see.

This is at least the third time this year that she has been caught bottomless by the paparazzi. It is one thing for celebrity singers to pose nude for magazine layouts, but to be so frequently photographed with the family jewels on display out in public for anyone to see is unusual even for Britney.

Of course, the issue would be easily solved by Britney wearing panties. That way, the paparazzi would only be getting photos of Britney's underwear. But perhaps Britney has a need for the freedom that a bottomless lifestyle provides.


Since she continues to get caught au naturel, it would appear either that 1) she does not care, 2) she wants to photographed exposed, or 3) she is not bright enough to do what is necessary to keep from being caught pantyless.

It is also possible that her judgment is impaired from drug use or some mental disorder.

Her inability to rectify the situation has left her open to some of the worst ridicule. In fact, the patrons here at McCafferty's Pub are no strangers to dishing out some razzing themselves. But Britney's failure to adjust her bottomless lifestyle has made Britney, herself, her own worst enemy.

The common perception among the public is that drug impairment is the root of this evil, but it is hard to believe that Britney is high all of the time and still be able to function in society.

Could it be that Britney does not have the mental capacity to deal with this issue? Maybe she simply is not bright enough to handle the demands of being a celebrity?

So which is it Britney? Are you a Druggie or a dummy?

Something tells me she is not going to volunteer the answer.

More Celebrity Humor...
More Britney Spears...

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Tuesday, October 9, 2007

Redneck Bathroom Break

This one is by Jamie Kennedy, and is absolutely classic. Do not miss this video.



More Video Humor...

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Wednesday, October 3, 2007

Why did Britney Spears Lose Her Kids?

Why did Britney Spears lose her kids?

In case you have not heard, Los Angeles Superior Court Commissioner Scott Gordon ruled on Monday that Britney must turn custody of her two children, Sean and Jayden, over to her ex-husband, Kevin Federline.

The reason why Britney lost her kids is hardly earth shaking. She lost them because she did not obey the judge's orders.

In previous court appearances, Britney was ordered to obtain a valid California drivers license and to be tested randomly for drug and alcohol use.

Britney knew about the court orders, and her lawyer knew about the orders. In fact, most of the general public knew about the court orders because they were so widely reported in the media.

Yet Britney showed up in court on Monday untested and without a license.

The court Commissioner had no choice. He had to show Britney that he is the boss--what he says goes.

So he awarded full custody of the two kids to Kevin.

Guess what Britney did right after her court session? She applied for a California drivers license.

Well, at least she is learning. It appears that losing her kids has made some impact on the singer.













She is also learning how to exit an automobile. The above photo on the left is the notorious shot of Britney leaving an automobile while not wearing any undies. The next photo is Britney exiting her car on Monday.

Notice the difference?

It appears that the Brit is not quite as dumb as she appears to be because she has at least learned how to cover herself up.

But if it takes Britney this long to learn such basic rules of life, she is going to be learning many of life's lessons the hard way.

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Monday, October 1, 2007

Vanessa Hudgens and Zac Efron Still Together


The tablogs (tabloid type blogs) have persisted in circulating rumors that Vanessa Hudgens and Zac Efron, the Disney stars of "High School Musical 2," are splitting up.

VanZac have been systematically denying and countering the rumors by trying to appear in public on occasion, but the tablogs have been relentless.

VanZac deliberately posed for the paparazzi while stopping for gas this weekend. Because the tablogs were basing their rumors on previous photos in which the couple were more frowns than smiles, the two were definitely all smiles this weekend.













They definitely look happy to be together plus they have been denying the rumors of being in splitsville. This will undoubtedly not stop the tablogs, however. It seems that this miniature version of the real media will continue to make up their own stories just to draw readers.

While the patrons of McCafferty's Pub do not have any inside information, we refuse to publish anything that we know to be untrue. We also do not publish any x-rated photos of Vanessa.

Those photos are out there on the Net to be found if you want to find them, but, since Vanessa was around 15 or 16 years old when they were taken, doesn't that classify them as child pornography?

In any event, VanZac have managed this un-scandal admirably. All the publicists for the Paris Hiltons and the Britney Spears of the world should take note.

This is how you handle an abusive media that will not let up.

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Friday, September 28, 2007

Irish Blessings and More Irish Drinking Tales

Here are a couple of Irish drinking stories followed by traditional Irish blessings:

France’s President, Nicolas Sarkozy was working in his office when his telephone rang.

"Hallo, Mr. Sarkozy!" said a voice in a heavily accented brogue. "This is Paddy down at McCafferty’s Pub in County Cork, Ireland. I am ringing you up to inform you that we are officially declaring war on the French!"

"Well, Paddy," Sarkozy replied, "This is very important news, indeed! Tell me, how large is your army?"

"As of this moment," said Paddy, after a bit of calculation, "there’s meself, me cousin Sean, the pub’s proprietor, one Seamus McCafferty Himself, and the pub’s entire darts team. That makes eight!"

Sarkozy replied, "I must tell you, Paddy, that I have 100,000 men in my army waiting to mobilize at a moment‘s notice."

"Oh, faith and begorrah!" said Paddy. "I’m afraid I'll have to ring you back."

Sure enough, the very next day, Paddy called again. "Mr. Sarkozy, the war is still on. We have managed to enlist some infantry equipment!"

"And what equipment would that be Paddy?" asked Sarkozy.

"Well, we have a combine, two bulldozers, and O’Hara’s tractor."

Sarkozy amusedly replied, "Let me tell you about my equipment, Paddy. I have 4,000 tanks and over 5,000 armored personnel carriers. Plus, I have increased my army to 150,000 since we last spoke."

"Saints preserve us!" said Paddy. "150,000! I'll have to get back to you."

Sure enough, Paddy rang up President Sarkozy once again the next day. "Mr. President, the war is still on! We have managed to get ourselves airborne! We have modified young Jack McLaughlin's ultra-light with a couple of shotguns in the cockpit, and four boys from the Four Shamrocks Bar have joined up as well!"

Sarkozy was silent for a moment, cleared his throat, then said, "Ah! It’s an air war you want. I must tell you, Paddy. I have 150 bombers and 250 fighter jets. Our military bases are surrounded by laser-guided, surface-to-air missiles with a state of the art computer monitoring system. And at last count, I have increased my army to more than 200,000 of France‘s finest infantrymen!"

"Jesus, Mary, and Joseph!" replied Paddy, "Let me ring you back."

Sure enough, Paddy dialed up Sarkozy again the next day. "Top o' the mornin', Mr. Sarkozy! I regret to inform you that we had to call the war off."

"No!” said the President. “I am sorry to hear that. Why the sudden change of heart?"

"Well," said Paddy, "we had a long chat over a few pints of Guinness and decided there is just no friggin' way we can feed 200,000 prisoners.”

And one about arthritis:

Muldoon stumbled his way out of a saloon smack in the middle of the afternoon and ran right into the arms of Father O‘Malley.

"Inebriated again, you are!" scoffed the priest. "Muldoon, ‘tis a shame on you, it ‘tis! When are you going to straighten out your life, may I ask?"

Muldoon looked directly into the good father‘s eyes and asked, "Father. What causes arthritis?"

"Arthritis! I'll tell you what causes it, I will! Drinking cheap whiskey, gambling away your hard earned wages and carousing around with loose women who have lost their way. That’s what causes it. Now tell me, Muldoon. How long have you had arthritis?"

"I don't," slurred Muldoon. "Bishop O’Hara has it!"

*****
And Some Irish Blessings:

Don't mourn for me now
Don't mourn for me never
I'm going to do nothing
For ever and ever.

And Another:

May the Good Lord take a liking to you... but not too soon!

More Irish Humor...

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Thursday, September 27, 2007

Extraordinary New Singer You Must Watch

This video is not humorous, but the singer is so absolutely incredible and remarkable that you simply must watch and must listen. The singer is from the show "Britain‘s Got Talent," and they have truly found a diamond in the rough here.

This young Welshman sings so well that his performance will bring tears to your eyes. The man is so absolutely amazing that you will feel good just knowing that you saw a future star in the making.



His name is Paul Potts and he eventually won the "Britain's Got Talent" show and became a household name in Britain. Here he sings "Time to say Goodbye."



Here is his final number on “Britain’s Got Talent.” Paul sings Nessun Dorma.



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Monday, September 24, 2007

Have Vanessa Hudgens and Zac Efron Split Up?


Some of those oh so nasty Internet media outlets (also known as tabloid blogs or tablogs) have been reporting that Vanessa Hudgens and Zac Efron have broken up their relationship. The cause, of course, would be the pressure caused by Vanessa’s nude and somewhat embarrassing photos that seem to be constantly trickling onto the Internet.













Well, those tablogs can give it up because Vanessa and Zac are doing just fine, thank you. Here are some photos of the resilient couple out and about at the Aroma Café in Studio City, California, on Saturday, September 22, 2007.













The tablogs would love to see VanZac give in to the pressure and go their separate ways because that would give the tablogs more ammunition to aim at the couple. But these photos clearly show the two are still spending time together.














In fact, they look like any other couple that have grown comfortable with each other. Notice how Zac lets Van open her own car door. It must be love!













Vanessa, naturally, looks just as cute as she always does, and she seems to do it without trying very hard. Well, okay. Knee high boots are an exaggeration of necessity in sunny southern California, but other than that she is dressing rather normally.

It was just a few days ago that “OK!” magazine promised that it was splitsville for the two because Van was escorted to a Hollywood Hills party by an “older” man. Well, perhaps he was a body guard or a fill in for Zac while he was in Australia promoting the movie “Hairspray.”

In any event, the rumors of the death of their relationship have been greatly exaggerated, so let’s put that one to rest right now. Let the tablogs go chase some other celebrity.

Hmmm. What has Britney been up to lately anyway?

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Tuesday, September 18, 2007

OJ Simpson and the Un-Robbery

OJ Simpson’s antics last week are proof that a leopard does not change its spots. In case you have not heard, Simpson, who was acquitted in 1995 of murdering his ex-wife, Nicole Brown Simpson, and her friend, Ron Goldman, has been arrested and charged with two counts of robbery with a deadly weapon, two counts of assault with a deadly weapon, and conspiracy to commit robbery and burglary with a deadly weapon.

Those charges are all felonies, and the robbery charges alone could get the ex-football star 30 years in the slammer.

The charges stem from an incident in which Simpson and a few associates armed with guns allegedly robbed two sports memorabilia dealers at the Palace Station Hotel-Casino in Las Vegas last week. Simpson, who is already foolishly talking to the media, claims that he was merely reclaiming stolen personal items.

TMZ.com has an audio recording tape of the actual robbery. The tape was recorded by Thomas Riccio, part owner of the auction house Universal Rarities. It seems that Riccio tagged along with Simpson during the robbery to prove that the items Simpson recovered were really his..

On the tape you hear someone say “You, against the motherf*****g wall.”

Simpson claims that the items he took were stolen from him and that he was merely trying to recover his own property.

Now, that is completely understandable. I always bring along a gun or two when I try to reclaim my stolen property, don’t you?

Let’s get the facts straight here. You barge into a hotel room unannounced, with guns. You tell the occupants to get “against the motherf*****g wall,” and you take a few items--some of which may be yours and some of which are not yours.

Nope. That doesn’t sound like a robbery to me. It must be an un-robbery.

Simpson, who is now 60 year old, is being held without bail. Most folks mellow out by the time they are 60, but maybe some kids never grow up.

Aren’t celebrities fun? They are so busy doing so many dumb things that you just cannot keep up with them. I can hardly wait to read about the next dumb thing one of them does.

If these celebrities continue to behave in such a foolish manner, we are going to have to start licensing them just to keep them in line. You want to be a celebrity? Get a license first.

I can think of a few who would probably flunk the exam.

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Monday, September 17, 2007

Britney Spears Pays Off K-fed, Linsay Lohan Quits Showbiz

Britney Spears will or will not lose her child custody battle on Monday: take your pick. The predictions are all over the map on this one. Australia's Herald Sun newspaper is reporting that a "secret witness" is scheduled to testify on Monday about Ms. Spears' drug use in front of her children.

That type of testimony would surely sway most courts. However, other reports state that Britney and Kevin have already reached an out of court agreement that would allow Britney to retain her current custody rights of 70/30 (Britney gets custody 70% of the time). All she has to do is pay K-fed a mere $2 million to drop the custody case.

Those reports indicate that Kevin has already agreed to the deal although the ink on the contract is barely dry.

The Associated Press is running with the story that K-fed's lawyer has petitioned the court to permanently seal all custody court documents to keep the prying media away from the truth.

My money is on the money aspect of this case. The $2 million settlement is probably the most likely because that is the way it is with the American judicial system.

Anyone who has been to court in the US knows that the party spending the most money usually wins. Keven may see the dollar signs and give it all up for the 2 mil.

What? Me? Cynical? Why would you think that?

****

The latest on Lindsay Lohan is provided by her father, an admitted alcoholic and drug abuser himself. Michael Lohan, who had been estranged from his daughter, Lindsay, for three years, has now reconciled with Lindsay.

He is reporting that she intends to stay in rehab for another two-three months to be sure that she has the monkey off her back permanently this time.

Michael also says that Lindsay intends to give up show business and her Mercedes for the time being and concentrate on her current hobbies like mucking up horse manure and gardening. The elder Lohan stated that Lindsay wants to move away from the Hollywood types that influenced her into drinking and drugging too much--the type of people who are bad for her.

If Lindsay is still blaming her addictions on her choice of friends, do you really think she is cured? I had heard that an important part of rehab was the willingness to take responsibility for your actions rather than blaming your addiction on others.

But what do I know?

I know that I would have a hard time opting for manure mucking and gardening over a Mercedes. It sounds like ol' Lindsay could really use some extra time in rehab because she still does not seem to be placing the blame for her troubles where the blame really lies--with herself and the choices she makes.

But she can afford to take another 2-3 months off. She earns just a tad above the minimum wage, doesn't she?

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