Showing posts with label al qaeda. Show all posts
Showing posts with label al qaeda. Show all posts

Monday, April 7, 2008

That Man Ain't No Marlon Brando - Beware the Penguins!

Friends, I am here today to warn you of an impending disaster that is of such a perilous nature that no similar calamity has ever before seen the light of day. I am talking about a man-made catastrophe so dire and so dastardly that I shudder even to think of the pernicious consequences should this misdeed ever come to pass.


Folks, if you please, cast your gaze upon the first photograph in today’s post. Compare that, please, to the second photo. At first glance you might be fooled into thinking that the two photos are one and the same.


The photos are allegedly taken from a scene in the movie, The Godfather. In the background, you will notice one Sonny Corleone, played by actor James Caan. To the left is Bonasera, played by Salvatore Corsitto. To the right is supposed to be Vito Corleone, played by the great Marlon Brando.

However, the man in the first photo is no Marlon Brando!

Our third photo is a very short video of the same exact scene in the movie. Notice how the godfather’s gestures are the same classic moves that you see throughout the movie. That is Marlon Brando in the short film clip; of that, there is no doubt.


The Godfather

The man masquerading as Marlon Brando in the first photo is, in reality, a penguin! This woeful bird has infiltrated the ranks of Hollywood’s famous actors. And he is not alone.

Peruse, if you will, the fourth photograph and you will find one Penguin from the movie, Batman Returns. The Penguin in this film is played by actor Danny DeVito. Did you catch the similarity in names? Danny DeVito and Vito Corleone? That similarity is no coincidence.

Now compare the next photo, which juxtaposes the profiles of the Penguin from Batman Returns and the imposter Marlon Brando in the first photo. Notice the similarities?

Clearly, the actor in the first photo is also a penguin.

Ladies and gentlemen, the penguins are infiltrating the Hollywood movie industry at an alarming rate.

But, why you ask. Why would the penguins want to sneak into the film industry? What could be their motive?

To learn the answer to that, you must watch the short video. This video is a previously unreleased film taken from one of the United States’ secret spy satellites that fly high overhead, constantly circling the globe. These satellites are America’s watch dogs in the sky, and until now, this film has been classified “Top Secret.”.

The US Department of Homeland Security has declassified and released this short film to warn the American public of an imminent threat against our way of life. Please watch the short video now.




The video exposes an enormous gathering of Antarctic penguins in a joyous celebration of some sort. Now that you have seen the video, you know. The penguins are really Al Qaeda in disguise.

Al Qaeda has infiltrated the penguins, who have in turn penetrated the movie industry. The motive is obvious. Al Qaeda wants to steal the minds of America’s children by saturating the film industry with their saboteurs.

They have chosen penguins because penguins are so cute.

But, the last photo shows the true character of Al Qaeda in action. Clearly, their character is so anti-social that they must constantly fight--even among themselves, if that is the only adversary that they have to fight.

Redneck Penguins

In the same manner that Al Qaeda steals the minds of Islamic youth throughout the madrasas of the Middle East in hopes of turning innocent children into suicide bombers, Al Qaeda now intends to brainwash America’s children.

By surreptitiously embedding their fanatical beliefs into the minds of America’s children through films, Al Qaeda aspires to turn our own children against us.

Al Qaeda believes that they can eventually take over America by stealing the minds of our youth at an early age. It is a menacing plot of the most drastic proportions.

We must stop this potentially devastating plan by protecting our children at all costs.

My friends, the time for action has come. We must not pause, and we must not falter because the fate of our children hangs in the balance.

Praise the Lord, pass the ammunition and beware of the penguins!

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Saturday, October 27, 2007

Three of My Favorite Jokes

The Internet is full of jokes, but, unfortunately, many of them are not very funny. At McCafferty's, we try to publish only jokes and stories that we truly find funny. Here are three of my favorite jokes. I laughed out loud when I first heard them, so the chances are very good that you will like them too.

A pedestrian is walking past an insane asylum, and in the distance hears a bunch of the asylum inmates inside screaming at the top of their lungs, “Thirteen! Thirteen! Thirteen!”

Intrigued, the pedestrian peeks through a hole in the fence to see what all the commotion is about, and, suddenly, a finger pops out jabbing him right in the eye.

He screams in pain, and the inmates all start gleefully shouting, “Fourteen! Fourteen! Fourteen!”

*****

A woman gets on a bus carrying her baby in her arms. The bus driver takes one look and says to the woman: “Lady, that is the ugliest baby that I have ever seen.”

Enraged, the woman stomps to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a passenger seated next to her: “That driver just insulted me!”

The passenger says: “You go right up there and tell him off! Go ahead, I’ll hold your monkey for you.”

*****

This joke is in honor of all of the American soldiers fighting the war on terror:

A large group of Al Qaeda terrorists are traveling down an Iraqi road when they hear a voice call from behind a sand dune. "One American soldier is better than ten Al Qaeda."

The Al Qaeda commander quickly orders 10 of his best men over the dune. Immediately a gun-battle breaks out, continues for a few minutes, and then only silence prevails.

The voice once again calls out this time saying "One American soldier is better than one hundred Al Qaeda."

The Al Qaeda commander angrily sends 100 of his best killers over the dune and again a huge gun fight ensues.

After 10 minutes of battle, again one hears only silence.

The American soldier’s voice calls out this time "One American soldier is better than one thousand Al Qaeda."

By now the Al Qaeda commander is totally enraged, so he musters 1000 fierce fighters and orders them over to the other side of the sand dune. Ak47 fire, machine guns, grenades, rockets and cannon fire all ring out as a terrific battle is fought.

But, eventually, once again there is just silence.

Soon one badly wounded Al Qaeda fighter crawls back over the dune to his commander, gripping the commander’s coat with his blood drenched hand the terrorist tells his commander in his dying words...

“Don't send any more men. It's a trap. There are two of them.”

More Al Qaeda Humor...

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Saturday, October 6, 2007

How to Recruit a Suicide Bomber

Did you ever stop to think how Al Qaeda and other terrorist organizations recruited their suicide bombers? It's not like you can promise them a liberal retirement plan.

Well, we have managed to gather the inside dope and present it for you right here.




More video humor...

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