While traveling the Net, I ran into a very funny guy by the name of Larry Graves over at ning.com. Larry is a clever fellow who likes to bill himself as the Canadian Studmuffin.
I readily admit that I did not research the studmuffin component of Larry's character and, frankly, I sense no burning desire to do so. For those of you who are so inclined, head on over to Larry Graves and knock yourself out.
What I did explore though is Larry's humor, and I learned that he is a very clever guy who is capable of doing strange things with fish tanks. I thought I would present a portion of Larry's wit, which oftentimes manifests a Redneck bite to it. In fact, our first vid is Larry's creation and is called Weird Fish.
Have a Look at Weird Fish by Larry Graves:
Well, that is truly one ugly fish. There is no doubt about that.
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Our second vid is also a product of the imagination of Larry Graves, who, in this video, abandoned his fish tank for a sojourn into the real world. The video is entitled Sexy Girl, and the female lead is played by Taylor Amelia, an actress who has absolutely no difficulty convincing anyone that she is, indeed, a sexy girl, a very sexy girl in fact.
Please give a look at Sexy Girl:
I don't believe that Phil made a decision there that most other men would agree with.
Unfortunately some folks just do not have enough sense to come in out of the rain. Some of them, like in our first video, make their own rain and get into trouble over it.
But that just makes it that much more fun to laugh at their antics.
In the first video, our hero answers nature's call next to an electric fence. Bad idea, Joe Bob!
Watch the shenanigans:
I do believe that our hero may require some first aid in a rather sensitive area of the anatomy. And he also ruined a pair of pants in the process.
______________________________________
It is difficult to determine which one of our redneck geniuses is Dumb and which on is Dumber. In our next video our man decides to demonstrate his athleticism by walking from post to post.
It turns out that he is not quite the jock he thought he was. Of course, there is pain involved and embarrassment too. Let's look in on our hero as he tackles his obstacle course:
Now...be thankful you are safe and sound in front of your computer instead of embarrassing yourself in front of the whole world like our hero.
Do you ever wonder why you never see any super models on the street, in the grocery, or on the subway? Well, they make so much money, they probably do not travel by subway or bus, but there is another reason you do not see these gorgeous women out in public.
That reason is: these women do not exist--at least not the way you think they do.
Do you really believe that super model Gisele Bundchen looks as good as the photo on the left?
Gisele is extremely attractive, but in no way does she look as good in real life as the woman you see in that photo.
The photo on the right is also Gisele Bundchen.
If you were not told that they are one and the same woman, you would assume that they are two different models because they look so incredibly unalike in the two photos.
In the next photo on the left we have super model Kate Moss completely au naturel. She is wearing no makeup and very little lighting has been added to enhance the photograph.
She even bears a slight blemish or birthmark on her right cheek.
Next they bring in the high priced hair stylists and makeup people, who go to town on Kate. After tying her hair back for a slender high fashion look, the makeup artists apply a base to her face.
Voila! The freckles and blemishes have disappeared.
Lip gloss widens her mouth and enhances the lips to make them seem more adult like. Eye makeup augments her eyes making them appear deeper and darker.
The photographer adjusts the lighting and suddenly Kate's nose and cheeks appear thinner.
Once the photographer's shutter has snapped, the cgi and photoshop experts go to work. Kate's natural hazel eye color becomes a deep dark brown. Small white dots added to the eyes make you think Kate looks at no one but you.
A highlighter added to Kate's left cheek area nudges the right side of the photograph into dominance.
All of that work produces the next photo on the right. Our process begins as Kate Moss in her natural look as the girl next door, and it ends with her appearing as a sultry super model with an impossibly sizzling good look.
Impossible is the key word here because it is impossible for any woman to look like the photo on the right. Even Kate Moss does not look that good in real life.
All of this magic with hair styling, makeup, lighting, photography, and cgi is not lost on our redneck friends. They realize that with today's technology just about any woman can be transformed into a super model.
And that brings us to our video featuring two models. The first scene stars a normal super model and the second features the redneck version. Have a look.
'Yes, My name is Steve, and I want to report dragon."
"A Dragon?"
"Yes, ma'am. Dragon. Blue fire-breathing dragon. I just saw it over on Main Street, not 5 minutes ago. It was breathing fire all over place."
"Sir, this is 9-1-1 Emergency, and it is illegal to call 9-1-1 with prankster calls..."
"This is no prankster, 9-1-1 Emergency operator. This is Steve! My American name is Steve. I am studying to become US citizen, and I am not calling about prankster. I am from India. My Indian name is Pratepp Patel, but I like to use my American name. My American name is Steve."
"I am telling you, 9-1-1 Emergency operator! I saw real, live, dragon...that was breathing fire. It was over on Main Street...right in middle of street. It was long and shiny, and it was blue!"
"Well, Steve. We're right smack dab in the middle of Arkansas, and do you know what? We don't have any dat-burn dragons here in Arkansas. Fact of the matter is, I don't believe that there are any dragons on planet earth. Now we are very busy still working on the flooded areas, so a dragon call just is not high on our priority list. So what planet are you from anyway...Steve?"
"Oh, yes! 9-1-1 Emergency operator! There are dragons. They have dragons in Indonesia. Komodo dragons. But they are only 8-9 feet long and they don't breathe fire. And I know the floods are a problem. I am calling from 4th Street. It's still under water over here."
"Kimono dragons? Now that sounds Japanese, Steve. And, 8-9 feet long! Steve, how big was that dragon that you say you saw?"
"It was at least 20 feet long. Maybe 25 feet. It was huge and blue and shiny. And it was breathing fire...I think."
"You think! Well now, see here Steve! Was it breathing fire or was it not breathing fire?
"Fire was coming out of it, but I couldn't tell which end was front. It might have fire coming out of butt."
"Okay, Steve! If you're sure that they have kimono dragons in Indonesia, maybe some tourist brought a pet back and it grew a mite. I'll write it up. Let's see...25 foot long, shiny blue dragon breathing fire out of butt...er, its butt...over on Main Street. Is that about right, Steve?"
"Yes, 9-1-1 Emergency operator. That's right! Big blue dragon breathing fire out of butt. That's it."
"Okay, Steve. We'll send a patrol car over your way. Now, Y'all keep an eye peeled and let us know if it moves anywhere else."
*****
"Dispatch, This is car 54. Warrant and wants on plate hotel, eighter, tango, alpha, india, lima, golf, eighter, romeo, sierra."
"Car 54, this is dispatch. Warrant and wants on hotel, eighter, tango, alpha, india, lima, golf, eighter, romeo, sierra negative. Prior moving violations: May, 2008 - spraying ignited flammable substance on another vehicle. November, 2007 - spraying ignited flammable substance on another vehicle. February, 2007 - spraying ignited flammable substance on another vehicle."
"Car 5-4, it sounds like you have apprehended our feared Japanese kimono dragon. Over."
"Roger that, dispatch. We witnessed said dragon spewing dangerous flammable liquid all over a 2006 Lexus SUV. That definitely riled up the SUV owner who took after our dragon owner with a revolver. We're going to need back up, a wagon for the apprehended offenders and tow trucks to remove said dragon and burnt Lexus."
"Dispatch, it seems that our dragon driver is a retired fireman who gets a mite riled when other drivers tailgate him. That's why he rigged his vehicle to breathe fire on offending vehicles. Over."
"Car 5-4. The citizens of Arkansas can rest easy now that our dreaded kimono dragon has been apprehended. Back up and wagon on the way 5-4. Over."
"Roger that, Dispatch. Over and out."
Dragon with the Fire-breathing Butt follows:
There you have it. A dangerous kimono dragon has been removed from the streets. Thus the avenues and boulevards of Arkansas are safe once again. But who knows what other evil lurks in the minds of rednecks everywhere? Beware!
I borrowed a little time to throw in a short one today--short and sweet, I hope.
I could be wrong, but I think we have another redneck here. This tugboat captain is definitely in the wrong place at the wrong time. Some folks make a habit of that activity, and we call those folks rednecks.
Don't know if this tug captain qualifies, but he sure is behaving like he does.
Have a look at Tug at the Bow, and, no honey, that ain't no country western song:
My guess is that the tug's captain will always think of this when he hears the US Navy's theme song, Anchors Aweigh.
Redneck Industrialists. Boy that sounds like a mouthful, but we are referring to our friendly redneck crane operators who usually operate their cranes in industrial locations, hence the term industrialist.
To my knowledge, you do not need a license to operate a crane, but they are devilishly difficult pieces of machinery to operate correctly. That thankfully results in many botched jobs by crane operators, which is to our advantage because many of the crane operator bloopers have been caught on film, and we get to howl at their mistakes here.
We begin with a scene from a movie that involves, what else, a crane.
If you have never seen a movie from 1988 entitledA Fish Called Wanda, run (don't walk) down to the neighborhood video store and rent it immediately! Do not wait on the chance that someone else in your neighborhood will see this post and beat you to the video store. You absolutely must see this movie right away because it is that funny!
The film features John Cleese, Kevin Kline, Jamie Lee Curtis and Michael Palin and it is no exaggeration when I tell you it is absolutely hilarious. Rent it when you have some extra time because you will want to watch it twice.
Kevin Kline won an Oscar for best supporting actor, but John Cleese and Michael Palin should also have won Oscars. Maybe Jamie Lee should have won one too, but she played a sexy crook. Since she is naturally sexy, she really did not have to act as much as the others did.
I have had a thing for Jamie Lee since I was old enough to tell the difference between men and women, so I am a little biased here. Since we all know that gratuitous sex and violence sells in this day and age, I have added a photo of Jamie Lee back when she was a bit younger.
The photo fulfills our quota of gratuitous sex for this post, plus there is plenty of violence, so to speak, in the videos.
All of the other actors in the film, writers (John Cleese and Charles Crichton) and the director (also Charles Crichton) won other awards for the movie and deservedly so. It is the remarkable cast that makes this movie so funny.
If you intend to rent the movie, skip past the first video now to the second video so that we won't spoil any of the film for you.
The following video is a scene from the movie in which a criminal, Ken (Michael Palin), is trying to kill an elderly woman and make it look like an accident. He screwed up his first two attempts and killed two of the lady's dogs instead. Ken is an animal lover so it bothered him enormously when he killed the first two dogs. Killing people however comes second nature to him.
The scene begins as Ken is making his third attempt to kill the little old lady, and he is using a crane to do it. This scene is what prompted me to search for funny videos using cranes.
The following video is from the movie "A Fish Called Wanda:"
As you will see in the other vids, cranes naturally lend themselves to funny situations.
If you skipped ahead because you had not seen "A Fish Called Wanda," pick up the thread here.
Our next video involves a crane and a port-a-potty, or modern day outhouse. I, for one, cannot imagine what could possibly be funny about the combination of those two.
The Crane vs The Outhouse or Let's Embarrass the Boss:
Well, all I can say is Oh Crap! And I thought that I was having a bad day. Hopefully, for the crane operator's sake, it was his last day on the job. Because if it wasn't before it is now.
You noticed, I hope, that the occupant of our port-a-potty is a white collar type. What do you want to bet that the beneficiary (translation = victim) of our outhouse humor is the boss.
The crane operator saw the opportunity and he went for it. If you are going to get fired, this is the way to go out. Payback is so sweet, is it not? Haven't we all had at least one boss that we wish we could have done that to?
The happy ending here would be to convince the old man that it truly was an accident and to keep your job.
"Boss, I am so sorry. I don't know how that happened. The crane controls should be checked out. I didn't mean to do it! etc., etc."
If you were a good enough actor, you would get completely reinstated to your old position as crane operator. Then you could lie in wait to do it all over again.
You know, I have to admit that I really like that one. After watching it several times, I still laugh every time I see it.
*****
Mechanical contractors often use cranes, but sometimes they use levers and fulcrums when using a crane just isn't feasible. Here are a couple of installation contractors that remind me very much of Laurel and Hardy.
Installation Blues:
Yep! Just like Laurel and Hardy. But as funny as that video is, there are several things that just aren't right about it. What contractor will move a spindle that large by manual labor anymore? Because of unions, contractors use heavy lifting equipment for any work that big.
Why didn't they take the cable off of the spindle and move it up via the elevator? And notice the black mat right where the spindle goes through the "window." That spot is clearly where a door would normally be.
Unfortunately, this one is fake, but it's a good fake and it's funny. So we will let it ride.
*****
In the next one you have to notice the dog, which is a Pomeranian, I think. It is just like the dog in the clip from A Fish Called Wanda. And nope! That's no coincidence.
I knew someone with a Pomeranian when I was young, and that blasted dog would bark and bite constantly. I cannot count how many times that dog bit me. So any time a Pomeranian gets it, my heart dances an Irish jig.
That's another reason to like A Fish Called Wanda. Sorry animal lovers. Dogs? I love them, but Pomeranians? No Thanks.
The crane versus the Pomeranian:
Didn't you just love it when the crane operator ran away? Yes, he is in big trouble. If they ever try to enact a law requiring crane operators to be licensed, be sure to oppose it because we need the videos. That car was totally squashed, wasn't it? Thank you Mr. redneck industrialist crane operator.
We are in a sort of redneck state of mind today, and what could be more redneck than hand grenades?
Ever wonder what might happen if rednecks were allowed to carry hand grenades? Surely they would carry grenades while hunting, which means that Vice Presidents could do so too.
Eventually we would see a news report that Vice President Dick Cheney blew up a lawyer while quail hunting. Naturally, the lawyer would insist that the explosion was his fault, not the Vice President's.
"It was imprudent of that attorney to have been standing so near that quail when the Vice President was hunting with hand grenades," said the white house spokesman.
At least, if you hunted quail with hand grenades, all of the bird's feathers would be plucked automatically. But so would most of the rest of the bird. Not much bird left to eat at all, actually.
But it's the thrill of the hunt that we really seek. Food gathering qualifies as a mere secondary goal and is not even remotely significant.
And, strangely enough, that is also the mind set of the lads in our first video, which covers this issue quite thoroughly, thank you. Have a look.
*****
One need not be an adult to wear the redneck label. The young lad on the bike in this next video is well on his way to becoming a full blown redneck, if he has not already arrived there.
But the kid was obviously talked into this stunt. He apparently has several accomplices in the remarkably "intelligent" video. There are two photographers on screen right plus the motorcyclist who helped the teen pick up enough speed to enable the loud smack when the biker and the sign violently meet.
You can also hear the muffled snickering in the background after the biker crouches below the sign in a daze.
Gather one highly impressionable teenager with two or three young men who are only slightly older, and, voila!, you suddenly have a teen willing to do just about anything to fit in with the older guys.
*****
It clearly must be James Bond behind the wheel in our last video because this driver is one cool customer as he waits on the train tracks until the last possible moment to accelerate his vehicle out of the train's path. There was not even one second to spare.
If you were able to time the gap between the car leaving the tracks and the train arriving at the intersection, it must be only a fraction of a second. But that is clearly what the videographer wanted.
The near miss is what makes the video worth watching. No one gets worked up about a three second near miss. But a near miss of less than one second will make the video popular all over the Internet.
My guess is the driver is another teenager, and he is probably driving the folks' car. If this kid lives long enough, he may make a terrific movie stunt man. However, if he continues taking chances like this, the kid may well be history before he has an opportunity to grow into any kind of man.
What happens when rednecks attack? Folks it ain't pretty, but it is funny. Beware of attacking rednecks. Learn more in our video.
Plus, it's about time we presented a little more redneck graffiti, and we have a couple of new ones that fill the bill.
Poor Bubba got behind in his mortgage payments and didn't know what to do. Fortunately, Bubba is a creative devil and came up with this unusual remedy:
I don't believe that is a solution that will help the average homeowner who is in mortgage trouble.
******
Redneck Airlines
It’s a busy day at Redneck Airlines, and the passengers on one of its jets are already seated waiting for the pilot to get the plane under way.
Both the pilot and copilot eventually show up in the back of the airplane and start their trek toward the cockpit through the center aisle. The pilot walks along with a white cane, but he is bumping into the passengers right and left while he feels his way up the aisle. It is apparent to anyone that he is blind. The copilot follows the pilot, and he uses a guide dog. Both of them wear sunglasses.
Initially, the passengers look at each other in disbelief, thinking that this has to be some sort of practical joke. Soon though, they hear the engines running, and the airplane starts moving down the runway.
The passengers are a bit shocked and again look at each other, this time with anxiety. They begin to whisper among themselves and many look toward the flight attendants for some type of reassurance.
Then, the plane begins to accelerate rapidly, and now the passengers are starting to panic. Two nuns seated toward the front of the plane pull out rosaries and begin praying. As the plane gets ever nearer to the end of the runway, all of the passengers’ voices grow more hysterical.
Finally the plane has only twenty feet of runway remaining, and the passengers suddenly change the pitch of their voices to shouts as everyone loudly screams simultaneously. At the very last moment, the plane gently lifts off the runway and it is airborne. The plane begins a normal ascent toward its cruising altitude.
In the cockpit, the copilot exhales a sigh of relief and says to the pilot, "You know, one of these days the passengers aren't going to scream, and we won’t know when to take off."
*****
When Joe Bob finished high school, he was unsure what he wanted to do with his life. Fortunately for him, the Marine Corps. recruiter knew exactly what Joe Bob wanted to do.
That was one kind hearted Marine recruiter, now wasn't it?
*****
Last, but not least: What do you do when a redneck attacks? Check out our video.
Ever see those signs on elevators that tell you the elevator car has a ten person or 1600 pound limit? Since when does the average adult weigh 160 pounds? Not in my neighborhood, he doesn’t, and that includes the women. We are in a super size world but the manufacturers don’t seem to recognize that.
Well, in this first video, our Mark Spitz wanna be is not made for this pool. He is a super size and the pool isn’t. You know what the result is going to be. Even so, it is funny when it happens. Watch.
Dad! What happened to the pool? Did you break it again? For all of you teen-agers out there, Mark Spitz won seven gold medals in swimming in the 1972 Olympics.
What is it with rednecks and motorized vehicles, anyway? Give a redneck a set of keys to a piece of equipment with an engine in it, then sit back and watch the fireworks because you know that the redneck mind is incapable of properly traveling from start to finish without a major hitch.
Murphy’s law will always apply if there is a redneck in the mix. Something will go wrong because it can go wrong. And that is when the laughter begins.
Without further ado, here are a couple of redneck videos about vehicles where Murphy’s law always rules.
I have to hire that guy to work on my house. My guess is he works cheaply.
The next vid is about a redneck tow truck driver. If you live where it snows, you probably learned somewhere along the line that where you hook the tow rope is of major importance. This redneck learned the hard way.
The last one is my favorite, and I give that one five stars: *****
Here we have a bunch of redneck folks going about their business in a rather fancy public restroom. It is clear that no one planned for the redneck moment that occurred, but they all readily joined in once that moment began.
None of the characters in our little drama display any outward signs of a redneck appearance; in fact, they all appear rather prosperous. But redneck is a mind set not a bank account. The redneck mind set does not depend upon how much money one has, because every one of us is capable of having a redneck moment--even Bill Gates.
The New York City taxicab drivers must have negotiated a very lucrative contract after their strike last year because it is not often that you see a Ferrari being employed as a gypsy cab.
The real issue in the strike was GPS tracking of the taxicabs, but money is always a factor in any contract negotiations. However, any cabbie would have to drive a whole lot of hours each week no matter what rate he is charging in order to afford a ride like this Ferrari.
Perhaps this is another example of an eccentric billionaire wanting to add a little excitement to his life, ala New York City Mayor, Michael Bloomberg. The New York mayor certainly did not run for mayor of the big apple for the money.
The driver of this red hot Ferrari taxicab must enjoy something about the New York cabbie lifestyle to entice him to convert his very expensive Ferrari into a taxi. Perhaps it is the danger zone the cabbies work in.
Taxi drivers seem to be facing ever greater on the job dangers these days. Maybe this redneck is determined to live his life to the fullest, even if his life is cut short over it.
Well, at least there is economy of space involved here. We only have to write about one photo to cover both redneck ferraris and redneck taxicabs.
Our road construction redneck is an example of absolutely classic redneck thinking. Can’t you just envision the road construction foreman looking over his blueprints?
“My prints tell me to build this road right where that power line pole is, and that is where I am going to build it.”
Maybe the foreman is attempting to embarrass one of his supervisors at work. What ever the reason, this road construction snafu may very well result in someone getting the pink slip.
*****
The first video is classic redneck car wash material. The poor fellow driving the white sedan must have had one dreadful day after this car wash episode.
The second video is very entertaining. Who woulda thunk it? Redneck power windows on a pickup truck. I am impressed with this guy’s imagination.
What might a TV commercial look like if Joe Bob redneck were put in charge of filming it? Well, we found a few television commercials that just had to be filmed by good old Joe Bob, and we just so happen to have a few of them here for your viewing pleasure. Sit back and prepare to laugh.
Coloreria is a laundry detergent brand in Italy. Apparently their slogan is "colored is better." If you have complaints, take it up with Coloreria in Italy. The next one is another Coloreria, but you pretty much have to see the first one to understand the second one.
Okay, that one was weird, but it is from Italy. They look at the world a little differently than folks in the USA.
The squirrel saves the day. An unlikely hero, but it is TV after all.
I believe that they got their just desserts in that one. The only problem is that now our hero has a long walk home.
That one was my favorite. Why can't we get more of these kind of commercials in the US?
As potholes go, this is one heavy-duty redneck hole in the ground. You will not likely find many other potholes that will challenge your driving skills as much as this one will.
Hopefully the parking lot folks didn't charge our victim much to park in this spot because that would be rubbing salt into the wound. This redneck is going to need something even better than 4-wheel drive to escape from this parking misadventure.
Perhaps a few good ol' boys will be milling around come quitting time. Those boys would need to be empathetic gents who exhibit a willingness to pitch in and help our redneck pothole victim extricate himself from this parking lot morass that is attempting to swallow his ride.
Half price just doesn't cut it when describing this misadventure. Call it half off and you have more aptly characterized the remains of this redneck vehicle. Even 50% off would work better.
Now, if this car does not have rear wheel drive, you will be in for a major disappointment when you shift into gear. And once you start tooling down the old highway, things are going to get a mite breezy so bring a sweater.
It is pretty obvious that traveling in this manner gives a whole new meaning to the concept of back seat driver because, in this case, the back seat driver is also the front seat driver.
Plus you can no longer call this cut-rate wonder a sedan, but it's still not a coupe either--not even a sports coupe. I guess we will just have to label it sporty and leave it at that.
In our first video, it's almost tanks for the memories:
Those tank drivers act like they are the only ones on the road, for Pete's sake! That guy needs a bumper sticker that says, "My other car is a Bradley armored vehicle!"
Our next video has redneck written all over it. This video describes redneck better than any other in recent memory. Give a look:
This first video should never happen, but it did. The incident took place in Ankara, Turkey, and the ambulance crew blamed the ambulance doors for not operating properly.
The second video is absolutely shocking. How anyone could perform that way on a job where someone’s life is at risk is truly unbelievable. The incident was reported in France and here is the original French account followed by a loose translation:
Translation: The video occurs in a tunnel from Moscow, at the beginning an ambulance will lose a patient. About thirty cars will pass without stopping near the man lying on the road. Then only a few minutes later the ambulance will turn around traveling through the tunnel against traffic to recover the missing passenger.
I believe that the language being spoken in the video is Russian.
The first two videos are included to put you in the proper frame of mind for the third video, which made me laugh out loud. It is absolutely hilarious.
Our first image portrays true dedication to keeping a neat and clean house, however, I would be scared to death if that were my mum out there on that ledge. How should one react to discovering that his mum exhibits behavior as redneck as venturing out onto narrow ledges above the hustle, bustle and din of the city anyway?
Hey Seamus, I saw your mom out on the window ledge the other day. Is she suicidal or what?
No, she’s just highly compulsive about cleanliness, that’s all.
Most of us appreciate a clean window, but our appreciation rarely extends to the window washer. I would hope, however, that the sight of a gray-haired, little old lady in her housecoat on an 18 inch wide ledge washing windows would at least elicit some respect for her devotion to keeping her world as transparent as possible.
Our second window washer also displays a single minded enthusiasm for her work that one rarely encounters any more. Most workers are limited to the use of merely two hands to finish their chores, but this resourceful lass appears to have learned how to keep herself abreast, so to speak, of any developments she may encounter.
Mark down one more reason to embrace breast augmentation surgery because wearing a D cup is clearly an advantage for anyone contemplating tackling this method of window cleaning.
Our third window washer must certainly have expected to draw a crowd, considering that she failed to properly dress for the occasion.
The locale is most probably Europe or South America because this type of attire will generally get you busted in the US. Europeans are much more tolerant toward such exposure than Americans.
Which brings up the subject of our video, where again exposure, or perhaps how much is too much, is the issue. The voyeurs in the video most probably feel there is no such thing as too much exposure.
The following video is of a redneck who actually sets himself on fire with the help of his so called “friends,” a word used loosely in this context.
When you are still at that immature age where you continue to make questionable decisions, it is probably a wise idea not to listen to your friends who are trying to convince you to set yourself on fire so they can video tape it.
If you get a phone call something like this, stop hanging out with this "friend:"
"Hello, Billy Bob? Yeah, this is Jimbo here. Say, Billy Bob! We’re gonna have a little barbeque tomorra night, so why don’t you come by wearing some heavy clothes and bring some barbeque starter fluid with ya."
"Why? Wall, cuz’ we want to impress the girls by settin’ you onfar and then video tapin’ it."
"What? Ahh, no! There’s no danger. We’ll take good care o you, Billy Bob. You know thet. Okay? See ya then."
You should know that they use the “f” word a couple of times in this one, so you have been warned.
In the next video a couple of racing Porsches bite the dust, which is truly a waste of some fine vehicles.
Our final video shows yet another redneck who is a motorcycle enthusiast who lays waste to his bike through his own poor planning. How do these rednecks get by in a world where they make such huge blunders anyway?
Leave it to a redneck to degrade a classic vehicle like a Mercedes simply to enable viewing the world sideways. The driver of this sedan gets to see what might have been if he had a yen to lean towards the southpaw in him.
One usually tries not to look back where he has been simply to avoid second guessing himself. However, prudence demands that you do spend some time looking where you are going. That could prove to be a challenge in this vehicle.
If nothing else, a sore neck is a likely result.
As for the video, there is a language barrier in this one, but the gist of the message is that the homeowner had grown tired of traffic in front of his home constantly exceeding the speed limit. Thus, he craftily devised a certain revenge to teach the lead-footed drivers a lesson.
I think that the law may not agree with his point of view in this instance. But that is the price that may be extracted when one exhibits a steadfast determination to play the role of vigilante.
It is the redneck influence again. This is obviously not your ordinary restroom. It may be too clever to be labeled redneck, but it is definitely out of the ordinary.
It is a very clever and totally original idea for a video, although it must have cost a few dollars to set it up. To have back to back rest rooms with glass in place of the mirror alone must have cost a bit. You could only do this in Europe because multi-gender restrooms would not go over well in the US.
The woman in grey does not really look that much like her “reflection” on the other side of the glass, but people obviously do not notice that. There are getting to be some very clever videos out there, and I believe that they will only get better as more people start trying to do them.
Imagine, if you will, a sense of freedom that permits you to shed your inhibitions and bare your inner soul letting the rest of society experience your emotions of the moment first hand. Not many of us have such freedom at any given moment. Many of us never allow that inner self to express itself…ever.
We bundle up and shelter our real thoughts and emotions from everyone else much the same as we bundle up our bodies with garments to protect us from winter’s chill.
Instead we erect an emotional façade that makes us feel safe. Letting the inner you out into the real world is a big social risk that most of us will not take.
Yet, there is something to be said for feeling so good that you simply let yourself go and do not worry about what other folks think. Here is an excellent example of such freedom of expression. The man’s actions truly represent his inner feelings of the moment.
Like most rednecks, he is unafraid to bare the inner man. Your average redneck usually doesn't know any better. This one obviously doesn't care.
And he is no spring chicken. He probably has at least a few aches and pains from little nicks he took over the years. Those little nicks happen to us all over the years. Yet there he is, letting it all hang out.
Does he look goofy? That is for you to decide. Many of us will envy his willingness to let himself go. I do not think that Hillary Clinton or Rudy Giuliani have any chance of ever being caught in such a moment, and they are people who are lauded as examples of accomplished folk to be emulated.
Personally, this man‘s style is more worthy of emulation, thank you. Not his dancing ability, of course--just his freedom of expression. Please do not try to imitate his dance routines. You may hurt yourself.
The owner of this property must be one heavy duty redneck for carrying tree hugging a notch too far. Some folks get so wrapped up in a cause that they eventually end up wearing blinders, and that could be the situation here. The owner cannot see the forest for his trees, since at least two of them are growing right through his building.
I like shade as much as the next guy, but imagine the extra labor you would need to expend annually just to maintain the precarious balance existing here between man and nature.
As the trees grow the trunks will thicken and you will have to remove a little of the roof, a little of the siding on the outside of the building, and who knows what else on the inside of the property. Then you must waterproof any areas where nature meets man-made materials. Case in point: notice the green waterproofing around the spots where the trunks run through the roof.
Then, what about the bugs that always come with trees? You cannot keep them out of the building because, if they can get into the tree, they can get inside the structure.
Also, that does not take into account the damage that the roots might do to the foundation of the building.
The nagging question here is the chicken or the egg dilemma. Which came first? Was the building built around the trees or did the trees grow through the building? The latter might simply be the result of a person’s procrastinating nature.
“Yeah, I have to get around to trimming out those trees growing here in the house, but, I am getting too much pressure at work. Maybe I will get to it next week or next month.”
Next month becomes next June, which becomes next year. Soon…Voila! You have the situation you see before you.
Maybe it’s like those people you read about that had their home condemned by the city because they allowed 89 cats to run loose in the place. It probably started with only a couple of cats, then they had a litter…and then another litter…and so on.
But if the building’s owner removes the trees now, major reconstruction will be needed to cover up the areas where the trees grew through the building.
This situation will teach you not to procrastinate. I intend to learn from this, and, whatever needs to be done around my home, I will do it now!
Right after my nap.
The video quite literally presents a different type of treehugger. This redneck lumberjack has placed a unique label on his version of tree hugging. I don't think I ever want to be quite that radical, thank you. Ooh! That has to hurt!
McCafferty's Pub - a collection of video humor, jokes, funny stories, photos and anecdotes. Special sections are devoted to redneck humor, celebrity humor, grandchildren humor, humorous videos, barroom humor, clean men's room humor and a lot more. If nothing else, you will leave us a bit refreshed.
The good Lord created only two kinds of people in the world: those who are Irish and those who wish they were.
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