You asked for it, so here it is - Paris Hilton on the Late Show with David Letterman on September 28, 2007.
There is a lot of talk on other blogs, especially blogs specializing in Hollywood personalities, that David "grilled" Paris about her prison stay.
That talk is nonsense. If Paris expected not to be asked about her prison stay, she had unrealistic expectations.
David did ask about it repeatedly, but it was a cordial conversation. You can see for yourself right here.
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George Bush demonstrates his new mobile satellite dish.
"Yeah, lady! We'll put it out in a minute. We want just one more photo."
Here are a couple of Irish drinking stories followed by traditional Irish blessings:
France’s President, Nicolas Sarkozy was working in his office when his telephone rang.
"Hallo, Mr. Sarkozy!" said a voice in a heavily accented brogue. "This is Paddy down at McCafferty’s Pub in County Cork, Ireland. I am ringing you up to inform you that we are officially declaring war on the French!"
"Well, Paddy," Sarkozy replied, "This is very important news, indeed! Tell me, how large is your army?"
"As of this moment," said Paddy, after a bit of calculation, "there’s meself, me cousin Sean, the pub’s proprietor, one Seamus McCafferty Himself, and the pub’s entire darts team. That makes eight!"
Sarkozy replied, "I must tell you, Paddy, that I have 100,000 men in my army waiting to mobilize at a moment‘s notice."
"Oh, faith and begorrah!" said Paddy. "I’m afraid I'll have to ring you back."
Sure enough, the very next day, Paddy called again. "Mr. Sarkozy, the war is still on. We have managed to enlist some infantry equipment!"
"And what equipment would that be Paddy?" asked Sarkozy.
"Well, we have a combine, two bulldozers, and O’Hara’s tractor."
Sarkozy amusedly replied, "Let me tell you about my equipment, Paddy. I have 4,000 tanks and over 5,000 armored personnel carriers. Plus, I have increased my army to 150,000 since we last spoke."
"Saints preserve us!" said Paddy. "150,000! I'll have to get back to you."
Sure enough, Paddy rang up President Sarkozy once again the next day. "Mr. President, the war is still on! We have managed to get ourselves airborne! We have modified young Jack McLaughlin's ultra-light with a couple of shotguns in the cockpit, and four boys from the Four Shamrocks Bar have joined up as well!"
Sarkozy was silent for a moment, cleared his throat, then said, "Ah! It’s an air war you want. I must tell you, Paddy. I have 150 bombers and 250 fighter jets. Our military bases are surrounded by laser-guided, surface-to-air missiles with a state of the art computer monitoring system. And at last count, I have increased my army to more than 200,000 of France‘s finest infantrymen!"
"Jesus, Mary, and Joseph!" replied Paddy, "Let me ring you back."
Sure enough, Paddy dialed up Sarkozy again the next day. "Top o' the mornin', Mr. Sarkozy! I regret to inform you that we had to call the war off."
"No!” said the President. “I am sorry to hear that. Why the sudden change of heart?"
"Well," said Paddy, "we had a long chat over a few pints of Guinness and decided there is just no friggin' way we can feed 200,000 prisoners.”
And one about arthritis:
Muldoon stumbled his way out of a saloon smack in the middle of the afternoon and ran right into the arms of Father O‘Malley.
"Inebriated again, you are!" scoffed the priest. "Muldoon, ‘tis a shame on you, it ‘tis! When are you going to straighten out your life, may I ask?"
Muldoon looked directly into the good father‘s eyes and asked, "Father. What causes arthritis?"
"Arthritis! I'll tell you what causes it, I will! Drinking cheap whiskey, gambling away your hard earned wages and carousing around with loose women who have lost their way. That’s what causes it. Now tell me, Muldoon. How long have you had arthritis?"
"I don't," slurred Muldoon. "Bishop O’Hara has it!"
This video is not humorous, but the singer is so absolutely incredible and remarkable that you simply must watch and must listen. The singer is from the show "Britain‘s Got Talent," and they have truly found a diamond in the rough here.
This young Welshman sings so well that his performance will bring tears to your eyes. The man is so absolutely amazing that you will feel good just knowing that you saw a future star in the making.
His name is Paul Potts and he eventually won the "Britain's Got Talent" show and became a household name in Britain. Here he sings "Time to say Goodbye."
Here is his final number on “Britain’s Got Talent.” Paul sings Nessun Dorma.
News of Note:
Dateline: Washington, D.C. The Washington Post reported today that a Boeing 720 has given birth to a Cessna 172 single prop aircraft. The proud papa is an Airbus 340, and this is the first successful mating in captivity of a Boeing with a French made Airbus according to the Post’s report.
Prior to this the Boeing has been far too shy to mate while in captivity, whereas the French Airbus will mate pretty much anywhere. Said French President Nicolas Sarkozy, “But, of course, it eez a French aircraft. What else would you expect?”
An unidentified source at Boeing was reported to have hinted that the Boeing company has begun to embrace the outlook that breeding new airplanes will prove far more cost effective than manufacturing them. The difficult part of the process will be rearing and training the young Cessna both to develop and behave like a Boeing.
“This process is still in its infancy, if you will pardon the pun,” said the source. “A great deal more study is needed to produce the type of offspring we desire.”
Last month a Russian made IL-78 Tanker gave birth to twins, while another tanker had triplets. Here is a photo of the tanker mother breast feeding her twin MIG-31s. Another photo of a an IL Tanker mother feeding her jet fighter triplets is below that.
Although prolific, the Russian tankers have proven to be less than reliable. The problem with the IL Tanker is that it will mate with just about anything, and the fathers of both the twins and the triplets are unknown.
An unidentified source at Boeing said that it is difficult to obtain a very high sales price for such mutt fighters. When the father is some unknown crazy Russian aircraft, there just is not much of a market for those type of planes.
There was even one case of an IL-78 that had hooked up with an Italian sports car. “We believe that the suitor was a lead footed Ferrari, but we put stop to that relationship in a hurry,” said a Russian spokesman.
“Imagine what the result of that mating might be,” said the spokesman. “The offspring would probably have to be sent directly to the scrap yard.”
“These tankers simply have to begin staying away from the type of machine that is a bad influence,” the source said.
We also show a photo of a Boeing and the Airbus just prior to the mating ritual. The photo depicts just how precarious aircraft mating can be.
An Airbus spokesperson is reported to have stated that any premature disarticulation could prove catastrophic for both aircraft. “An error of that nature at that altitude could render both airplanes sterile,” the spokesperson said.
“We certainly do not need an Airbus in our fleet that is incapable of procreation. Fatherhood is a trait the French people cherish highly. And that goes for our aircraft as well,” the spokesperson said.
The final photo is that of a French Airbus 300 being prepared for surgery to reverse a vasectomy, which was previously a common procedure for the Airbus. The French wanted to prevent unwanted little airbuses suddenly appearing without notice.
Now that parturition is becoming more common for these aircraft, reverse vasectomies are also increasingly popular.
Some of those oh so nasty Internet media outlets (also known as tabloid blogs or tablogs) have been reporting that Vanessa Hudgens and Zac Efron have broken up their relationship. The cause, of course, would be the pressure caused by Vanessa’s nude and somewhat embarrassing photos that seem to be constantly trickling onto the Internet.
Well, those tablogs can give it up because Vanessa and Zac are doing just fine, thank you. Here are some photos of the resilient couple out and about at the Aroma Café in Studio City, California, on Saturday, September 22, 2007.
The tablogs would love to see VanZac give in to the pressure and go their separate ways because that would give the tablogs more ammunition to aim at the couple. But these photos clearly show the two are still spending time together.
In fact, they look like any other couple that have grown comfortable with each other. Notice how Zac lets Van open her own car door. It must be love!
Vanessa, naturally, looks just as cute as she always does, and she seems to do it without trying very hard. Well, okay. Knee high boots are an exaggeration of necessity in sunny southern California, but other than that she is dressing rather normally.
It was just a few days ago that “OK!” magazine promised that it was splitsville for the two because Van was escorted to a Hollywood Hills party by an “older” man. Well, perhaps he was a body guard or a fill in for Zac while he was in Australia promoting the movie “Hairspray.”
In any event, the rumors of the death of their relationship have been greatly exaggerated, so let’s put that one to rest right now. Let the tablogs go chase some other celebrity.
Hmmm. What has Britney been up to lately anyway?
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Ah, the road sign is an integral part of automotive society. It is generally taken for granted and is usually not the subject of further study--unless, of course, it contains a glaring error. In which case, we all will take enormous delight in wallowing amongst the verbal sludge cast about during the ensuing debate over the merits of our highways' road sign etiquette.
You may have to study these examples somewhat to notice the error of the sign maker's ways. But that merely adds to your pleasure once you discover the gaffe.
Encountering such mistakes is quite rare in this age of digital signage because the sign makers make far fewer errors thanks to their spell checking software.
Perhaps the second sign really has no error but is correctly directing the motorist to the location of the "Keap." If you want to go to the "Keap," turn right.
My guess is that you really cannot get there from here anyway. But the more nagging question is, do you really want to get there?
We will have to leave that debate to a different posting and limit our concern to the more political issue of: if you acquiesce to the sign's command and do keep right, does that brand you as a right wing conservative, or merely label you as prudent? And, is there a difference between the two?
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Sometimes you get that phone call that you simply have to take. But, when nature calls, you really cannot ignore that either. The result might very well end up like this, except that this redneck men’s room has no walls.
Well, that simply makes for more interesting conversations and undoubtedly for some animated observations from the voyeur in all of us.
Personally, I am going to hang around to see if that woman in 44D intends to take a shower this morning. Rumor has it that she uses soap-on-a-rope, and that is something that really should be verified first hand.
You simply cannot delegate responsibility for a duty as solemn as that, nor would I stoop to burdening others with such a daunting task. I just will not presume to ask another to perform a chore that I am not willing to undertake myself.
Although, for some reason, I sense that the building’s water pressure may be compromised a tad today. Perhaps it has something to do with a rumor going around regarding a city condemnation order.
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This is Einstein, a famous talking grey African parrot. This bird is smarter than the rest of us, which is why they named him Einstein. He can make sounds that I could only hope to make.
He should have a long career because I have heard that these birds can live as long as 70 years.
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OJ Simpson was charged today with 10 felony counts and one gross misdemeanor count in connection with his recent escapade in the sports memorabilia un-robbery that took place in the Palace Station Hotel-Casino. Simpson was also denied bail, while two of his alleged accomplices have already made bail.
This has raised questions about reverse favoritism because one of Simpson’s compatriots, Walter Alexander, allegedly brandished a gun during the event, yet was able to cut a deal and is now free and back home in LA.
"This is way over the top," attorney Chris Rasmussen told ABCNEWS.com as he explained that he has represented hundreds of defendants charged with more serious crimes yet who still make bail. "If this was a regular case, this would be a gross misdemeanor with probation, maybe five years' supervision. We have guys who shoot up 7-11s and they get out the next day."
Amy Chelini, a former Clark County prosecutor, was also surprised by the denial of bail. "I can't recall the last time that someone was denied bail," she explained. "Even the most serious charges, except for capital murder, get bail. I have a lot of clients who are from out of state and get bail. After all, a lot of people who come to this town get in trouble," she said.
Reporters have been questioning Clark County authorities and OJ, himself, about the possible discrimination against OJ because he was once on trial for capital murder.
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OJ Simpson’s antics last week are proof that a leopard does not change its spots. In case you have not heard, Simpson, who was acquitted in 1995 of murdering his ex-wife, Nicole Brown Simpson, and her friend, Ron Goldman, has been arrested and charged with two counts of robbery with a deadly weapon, two counts of assault with a deadly weapon, and conspiracy to commit robbery and burglary with a deadly weapon.
Those charges are all felonies, and the robbery charges alone could get the ex-football star 30 years in the slammer.
The charges stem from an incident in which Simpson and a few associates armed with guns allegedly robbed two sports memorabilia dealers at the Palace Station Hotel-Casino in Las Vegas last week. Simpson, who is already foolishly talking to the media, claims that he was merely reclaiming stolen personal items.
TMZ.com has an audio recording tape of the actual robbery. The tape was recorded by Thomas Riccio, part owner of the auction house Universal Rarities. It seems that Riccio tagged along with Simpson during the robbery to prove that the items Simpson recovered were really his..
On the tape you hear someone say “You, against the motherf*****g wall.”
Simpson claims that the items he took were stolen from him and that he was merely trying to recover his own property.
Now, that is completely understandable. I always bring along a gun or two when I try to reclaim my stolen property, don’t you?
Let’s get the facts straight here. You barge into a hotel room unannounced, with guns. You tell the occupants to get “against the motherf*****g wall,” and you take a few items--some of which may be yours and some of which are not yours.
Nope. That doesn’t sound like a robbery to me. It must be an un-robbery.
Simpson, who is now 60 year old, is being held without bail. Most folks mellow out by the time they are 60, but maybe some kids never grow up.
Aren’t celebrities fun? They are so busy doing so many dumb things that you just cannot keep up with them. I can hardly wait to read about the next dumb thing one of them does.
If these celebrities continue to behave in such a foolish manner, we are going to have to start licensing them just to keep them in line. You want to be a celebrity? Get a license first.
I can think of a few who would probably flunk the exam.
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Britney Spears will or will not lose her child custody battle on Monday: take your pick. The predictions are all over the map on this one. Australia's Herald Sun newspaper is reporting that a "secret witness" is scheduled to testify on Monday about Ms. Spears' drug use in front of her children.
That type of testimony would surely sway most courts. However, other reports state that Britney and Kevin have already reached an out of court agreement that would allow Britney to retain her current custody rights of 70/30 (Britney gets custody 70% of the time). All she has to do is pay K-fed a mere $2 million to drop the custody case.
Those reports indicate that Kevin has already agreed to the deal although the ink on the contract is barely dry.
The Associated Press is running with the story that K-fed's lawyer has petitioned the court to permanently seal all custody court documents to keep the prying media away from the truth.
My money is on the money aspect of this case. The $2 million settlement is probably the most likely because that is the way it is with the American judicial system.
Anyone who has been to court in the US knows that the party spending the most money usually wins. Keven may see the dollar signs and give it all up for the 2 mil.
What? Me? Cynical? Why would you think that?
Zac Efron, Vanessa Hudgens’ co-star in “High School Musical 2” and also her real life boyfriend, has promised her his support and is quoted in Life & Style Weekly magazine as telling Vanessa “I’ll stand by you.”
Vanessa has been the object of media and blogosphere derision since a nude photo of her was leaked on the Internet last week. The Disney Channel, which is where HSM 2 has been playing since this summer, has promised that the photo was not a deal killing problem, has dismissed the photo leaking incident as water over the dam and is sticking by Vanessa.
Once the media pounced on the photo leak story, Vanessa fled to Australia to be with Zac, who was there promoting the movie “Hairspray.” Vanessa reportedly “freaked out” about the photos and looked “shell shocked” according to a Melborne, Australia, resident who spotted the couple together.
Read more about Vanessa’s photo leak.
Now the New York Daily News is reporting that additional photos were leaked onto the Internet this week showing Vanessa touching another girl’s breast and kissing a third girl.
Vanessa has been so embarrassed about the photos that she canceled an appearance on Jay Leno’s Tonight Show on Thursday night.
Because both Vanessa and Zac are tween mega stars, the pre-teen set are reportedly even more enamored with the couple because Zac has promised to stand by his girl. How romantic is that?
The real question here is who hates the 18-year-old Vanessa so much that he or she would resort to leaking these photos onto the Internet? There has been little speculation about the source of the photos, but after thorough investigation, the patrons at McCafferty’s Pub have come up with a few possibilities:
Here are the top ten possible sources of the Vanessa Hudgens photo leaks:
10) The George Bush administration. It is rumored that Karl Rove set this plan into action prior to his recent resignation from the White House. The logic is that any news that draws attention away from the Iraq war is worthwhile.
9) Osama Bin Laden. Osama’s faulty logic is that nude photos of movie stars will undermine the world’s devotion to anything Hollywood. Obviously, Bin Laden doesn’t know much about Hollywood.
8) Britney Spears. Britney felt that getting another star into trouble would draw attention away from her foolish behavior.
6 & 7) Lindsay Lohan and Paris Hilton for the same reasons Britney had.
5) The Disney Channel. The Disney folks supposedly still believe that even bad publicity is good publicity in Hollywood.
4) Vanessa herself. It is possible that Vanessa also believes the any publicity theory.
3) Zac Efron. Zac is looking like a hero because he has promised to stand by his gal. What better reason is there to leak the photos?
2) Zsa Zsa Gabor’s husband Frederic Van Anhalt because it is said that Frederic intends to claim that he is Vanessa’s real father. He reportedly wants to come to Vanessa’s rescue, and claiming to be her father will give him the publicity he so desperately seeks.
1) Michael Vick. It is theorized that the suspended Atlanta Falcons quarterback has been staging fights between 18-year-old starlets and thought that releasing the photos might help promote his starlet fights.
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Here is another Irish drinking story along with a few more gems from Jay Leno and David Letterman:
An Irishman, an Englishman and a Scot were sitting in a bar.
The ambiance was fantastic, the beer excellent, and the food quite exceptional.
"Ye'ken," said the Scotsman, "I still prefer the pubs back home. Why, in Glasgow we have a bar named McTavish's. There, the barman goes out of his way for the locals so much that when you buy 4 drinks, he will buy the 5th for you on the house."
"Well," said the Englishman, "at my local pub, The Red Lion, the barman will buy your 3rd drink after you buy the first two."
"Oh, that's nuthin," said the Irishman. "Back home in Dublin we have Driscoll's Bar. The moment you set foot in the place they'll buy you one drink, then another, and all the drinks you like, in fact. Then, once you've finally had enough drinks, they'll take you upstairs and see to it that you get laid. All on the house."
"And," replied the Englishman, "did this actually happen to you?"
"Well, not me me'self, personally, no," said the Irishman, "but it did happen to me sister."
In case you have not heard about it, a Hollywood scandal in the making was scuttled recently before it could ever amount to anything. The question is, how could that be even remotely possible in our scandal loving society? That does not sound like the Hollywood we all know and…love?
Naturally, Hollywood thrives on scandals. You know the old saying: any publicity is good publicity, or something along those lines.
It seems that Vanessa Hudgens, the remarkably cute, co-star of “High School Musical 2” was caught with her pants down, literally. “High School Musical 2” is playing on the Disney channel, and, of course, we all know that wholesomeness and Disney are virtually synonymous.
Well, Vanessa had somehow allowed a nude photo of herself to escape onto the Internet, and the idea of a nude 18-year-old Vanessa floating around the blogosphere promised to irk even the most liberal Disney executives.
Vanessa and “HSM 2” both cater to the tweens, those youngsters who somehow no longer qualify as children and who now yearn to be teenagers. Really! There are people who want to be teens.
If you are a 10-12 year-old male suddenly awakening to sexuality, Vanessa is to die for. If you are a similarly aged female, this 18-year-old star is your ultimate role model.
Well, naturally, the Disney folks were truly worried that parents would rebel at the concept of their daughters trying to be more like a naked Vanessa. It’s okay to emulate a wholesome Vanessa, but naked on the Internet? Your kids can beg, “Oh, please, Mom,” all day, but nudity and Disney simply do not mix, and what Mom longs to see her daughter in the altogether on her MySpace page?
There were predictions of Vanessa getting sacked and the belief that mothers everywhere would be up in arms. Gossip pundits unanimously promised that Disney would crack the whip with Vanessa.
Do you know what happened? Disney said, well, that is unfortunate, but we can live with it. We sure hope that Vanessa has learned her lesson.
With that, an enormous scandal simply evaporated. Disney responded in a mature and adult manner, and the rest of Hollywood said, “Oh…”
I just do not get it! Hollywood executives behaving in a completely civilized way. What is our world coming to?
If this type of behavior were to continue, who knows what else might happen or might have happened? Imagine George Bush in 2002-2003 telling the nation that he really wanted to invade Iraq, but his inspectors were not able to find weapons of mass destruction. Would George really have said, “Let’s avoid a blood bath and spend our time fighting the real war on terror.”
Maybe Osama Bin Laden will produce another video telling America, “You know, I had intended to bomb Americans back to oblivion, but…never mind. I guess I will play golf instead.”
What if Lindsay Lohan told reporters, “I probably should have been out last night partying, but I decided to stay home and read a book.”
If this totally unpredictable behavior from a Hollywood powerhouse like Disney catches on, and other people also begin to behave in a similarly rational manner, it may intimate one very scary thought: there may be hope for the world yet.
Zac Pledges Support for Vanessa...
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This video shows an incredible hole in one by golfer, Fuzzy Zoeller, at the Des Moines, Iowa, Allianz Championship in June, 2006. When you first see it, you begin to think that it is a phony video, but that is not the case according to the official Fuzzy Zoeller web site at www.fuz.com.
The suspect part of the video is when the ball lands right on the fringe of the green and just sits there for about 10 seconds. Just when you think the shot is over, the ball starts rolling, and the rest is history.
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Here is magician, Criss Angel, performing one of his levitation tricks. Initially, the trick looks rather impressive until you check out his trousers. You can see that his pants have a lot of extra material in them in order to hide the additional support he is getting from them.
The second video is a Criss Angel video explaining how he performs one of his levitation tricks. Since there are many sites on the Internet that are revealing how magicians perform many of their tricks, perhaps Angel is merely beating someone to the punch when he reveals his method.
What the Internet really needs is a video explaining how Halle Berry still looks so good while being pregnant at 41 years of age. That's right, Ms. Berry has announced that she is now with child.
The father is her boy friend and male model, Gabriel Aubrey, 32. With parents like that, how can that kid not be good looking? Look at the scull cap and goggles Halle is wearing in the photo. Do you know how bad most of us would look wearing a getup like that? Yet Halle easily pulls off wandering about town wearing those things.
Some people just know how to choose the right genetics.
Speaking of pregnant, guess what Parisian revealed that she wants a baby by next year? That is right, Paris Hilton, our favorite Parisian, announced that she is trying to get into better physical shape so she will be ready for a pregnancy.
Poor Paris doesn't realize that having a tight bod is only a small part of preparing for motherhood. Being emotionally mature just might help a bit too.
Alas, that option seems to be closed to poor Paris.
Talk about luck of the draw! Which one would you rather have as your mother, Halle or Paris?
Not too much of a contest there.
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Is it tennis or is it baseball? Let's see...let's call it redneck tennis ball. Maybe you could call it redneck tenball or redneck basis? How about tennis-baseball. No matter what you call it, this is not your usual version of bat and ball. These guys are very good with a bat--a whole lot better than I was when I was a kid.
This could be a whole new version of bat and ball, but only the really hot jocks need apply. This ain't no beginner ball, because you have to be a pretty good ball player to compete in this league.
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Once again you have the privilege of being treated to some famous Irish Drinking Stories. No Irish pub is worth anything without a re-tellin' of these famous Irish tales.
Two Time winner of the In Your Face Award at Mattress Police.
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