Robber Asks Victim Out on Date - Video

Stephfon Bennett of Columbus, Ohio, must be one hopelessly romantic son of a gun. Either that or he is so full of himself that he assumes women can not resist his charms.

The question is do his charms consist of a boyish grin and a sparkling wit, or instead do they comprise just the business end of a Saturday night special?

You see, it seems that 20-year-old Stephfon and two accomplices allegedly robbed Diana Martinez and her friend late last Sunday night on the North side of Columbus and they did point a gun at Diana's head in the process.

But that is the ordinary part of our tale, if you can call having a pistol pointed at your head ordinary. The extraordinary part is that two hours after the robbery, Stephfon returned to the scene of the crime and asked Diana out on a date.

Quick thinker that Diana is, she asked her cousin to call the police while she talked to Stephon, stalling him until police arrived. And arrive they did, arresting Stephfon right in front of the house on charges of aggravated robbery.

"We are not exactly sure what he was thinking at the time," said Columbus police Sgt. Sean Laird. "It's never happened, in my eight years and some months. I've never had anything like this before."

Stephfon's yearning for love has landed him a home in the Franklin County jail in lieu of $92,000 bail, and maybe he will also receive a mention in the Guinness Book of World Records as the world's most naive robber.

Did he believe that he looked rather dashing and impressive as he held his pistola to Diana's temple, so much so that he assumed that he stole her heart in that one fleeting moment? Why else would he have returned to the scene of the crime to parlay his freedom for one solitary chance at love?

The following video is a TV news report on the incident:



Stephfon must be one optimistic Romeo, or is he so hubristic that he cannot imagine any woman turning down an offer of love with the Stephfon Bennett?

Is it possible he had recently watched the movie Bonnie and Clyde, and did he picture Diana as Bonnie Parker and himself as Clyde Barrow? Did he believe she would drop her life to run off and live with him as 21st century desperadoes on the lam?

And what do his accomplices in crime think as they, in total shock, watch the details of Stephon's folly on TV? Are they bright enough to realize that Stephfon is right now making a deal for a shorter prison sentence in exchange for providing their names and location to the police?

Aah! The folly of young love never ceases to amaze.

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Rednecks, Crash Your Clunkers - Video

Resident Rednecks of Turtle Lake, Wisconsin, recently sported their own version of cash for clunkers when they decided to forgo collecting any government cash for their old clunker of a vehicle as they might by participating in the federal government's cash for clunkers program.

Instead they started their own affair in which they crash their clunkers. No they do not receive $4,500 from the federal government, but, as you may surmise from the photo above, the Crash Your Clunker event was a whole lot more fun than any government subsidy or rebate.

What our Turtle Lake rednecks did was set up a weekend happening down in a gravel pit in Turtle Lake in which the clunkers were launched up a gravel ramp and sent hurtling into oblivion on the flip side of the ramp.

"It's a little redneck, but we love it, we accept it, we admit and we enjoy it," said Brett Moravitz, who is a self-proclaimed redneck.

Approximately 300 participants and onlookers gathered one recent Saturday afternoon at Moravitz Excavating to watch the clunkers hurtle down a runway, launch into the air and finally crash into a gravel pit.

It certainly is nowhere near as classy as NASCAR, and it demolishes the clunkers much more than a demolition derby. The Crash your Clunker event is the brainchild of Bob Moravitz.

"You don't get to do this kind-of stuff very often," said Bob. "I mean, destruction of a car that really isn't worth nothing anyway. So let's just wreck it."

Bob's son Rick and his pal Jake fitted the cars with remote-controlled devices so they could control the gas pedal and the steering. Since they didn't install any remote control on the brakes, they dug trenches along the sides of the runway to prevent the cars from veering too far off course.

Upon releasing the brake, the clunkers would speed down the runway with Rick and Jake following close behind on a four-wheeler. At the same time they controlled the speed and direction of the vehicle right up to when it launched itself off the ramp.

In addition to launching cars, they also launched a camper towing a boat and a pickup pulling a round baler. But the piece de resistance was the launching of two school buses.

It seems that the Crash Your Clunker event promises to become an annual redneck phenomenon each summer in Turtle Lake that may just grow a little each succeeding year.

We are sorry, but the video is no longer available. The sponsor bailed on us. Don't you just hate when they do that?

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Breaking News: Zoologist Goes on Tranquilizing Rampage

McCafferty's Pub Radio News

We are reporting breaking news today. It seems that an unemployed zoologist went on a tranquilizer rampage at the San Diego Zoo today, randomly shooting his tranquilizer gun at staff and visitors leaving many brutally sedated zoo patrons in his wake.

Podcast-It's like watching a video with your eyes closed!

Listen to the following podcast for more information:



I personally have never been "brutally" sedated, so I can only imagine what a vicious moment it was. When are we going to develop a system to keep these hapless unemployed zoologists in check before any more of them go viciously postal?

*****

More Breaking News: Wealthy Housewife Learns Spanish for Some Reason.

A millionaire housewife mysteriously took it upon herself to learn Spanish for some reason. Now Claire Thompson speaks to her domestic help in their native language.

Podcast-It's like watching a video with your eyes closed!

Check out the podcast for the radio news report:



This one is completely unexplainable. Why would a rich housewife want to know how to speak Spanish? Go figure.

Perhaps her husband should take her to a psychiatrist because she must be sick?

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More Funny News Reporter Bloopers - Videos

I enjoyed doing the last post about reporter bloopers so much that I decided to add more. Our first video exhibits a couple of blooper stories back to back.

In the first scene a British reporter is describing how soldiers have confiscated cocoa leaves, which are used to produce cocaine, and marijuana plants and are now burning the confiscated goods in the background. The reporter gets a little too close to the enticing aroma of the burning drugs that is wafting his way, and you can pretty much guess the rest.

In the second scene, a reporter, who is obviously a rookie around horses goes where no one, man or woman, should ever go. I cannot imagine why she went there, but we're glad she did because the result is a remarkable sight to behold.



Well, that first reporter finished up feeling no pain whatsoever. Did you notice how quickly his personality transformed from the typical British straight laced fellow to a guy with an easy going devil may care attitude?

And what can you say about that second reporter. Rookie! Rookie! Rookie!? Years from now when that reporter passes away, at her funeral the family will probably remember how she was immortalized on the Internet at the business end of a horse.

I don't mean to be picky, but I would prefer immortality be conferred upon me in a somewhat tidier fashion, thank you.

Horse "manure" can be some pretty smelly stuff. How many times do you think that young lady had to shampoo her hair to rid herself of her newly acquired equestrian aroma?

*****

In the second video, our friendly reporter, Barney, is doing a short human interest story on a young lad who builds model buildings with wooden blocks. Now ask yourself, "How could Barney possibly get into any trouble from such a generic story?" Ah! How indeed!

In the second scene, we have Chuck Storm, a type "A" reporter if ever there was one. Chuck is a hard charger who is out to get that story no matter what gets in his way. Well, something manages to slow Chuck down a bit despite his aggressive attitude. Have a look:



Hopefully Barney, the first reporter in this video, does not have any delusions that one of the major networks will catch a glimpse of his talent and whisk him away to the glory and greatness of the networks. Cause, Barney, that just ain't gonna happen!

It is somewhat surprising that Brian, the young model builder, restrained the impulse to punch old Barney for ineptly destroying his creation.

Perhaps Chuck Storm, the second reporter, will slow down just enough to clear up those terrible headaches he must get from bumping into signs and things. That one really had to hurt!

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Funny News Reporter Bloopers

TV news reporters are responsible for some hilarious bloopers that usually just end up on the editing room floor without anyone getting the opportunity to laugh at them. Well fortunately, we have managed to rescue a select few. All of our videos are short, so please do not worry about your time commitment.

You folks living in warm weather cities do not know how much fun you are missing by not getting any snow. In our first video the reporter is doing a story about the hidden dangers for kids when they hang around the snow plow. It is one of my favorites. Have a look:



I have watched that one several times and I still laugh out loud every time I watch it.

*****

Remember comedian George Carlin's skit about the seven words you cannot say on TV? When it comes to reporters, there are many more taboo words than just seven. The reporter in this next video mistakenly lets out a major slip of the tongue, and he gets a bit flushed because of his error. Watch:



I certainly hope that Miss Nevada is able to get her tittle back. I think that it is a significant aspect to her charm. In fact I cannot imagine how she would look without it.

Don't you think that The Donald should give her tittle back? C'mon, Donald! Give that poor girl her tittle back. The nerve of some control freaks, wanting to keep the tittles all for themselves.

*****

You really have to feel sorry for the reporter in this next video. This poor girl never saw that train coming. As it says in the beginning of the video: No light fixtures were harmed during the making of this video. We don't want the electricians' union mad at us.



I could be wrong, but I smell a law suit here. As for the medical condition of the reporter, I only know that she did not die. Wish I could tell you more.

*****

We have room for just one more blooper. It has nothing to do with reporters, but it fits in here very well.


Somebody seems to have mistaken the house for the garage. This is happening all too frequently these days. What do you want to bet that the driver was texting someone at the time of the accident?

Maybe it was about their horoscope. It might have gone something like this: "BFF. HORSCOP SZ SMTHNG DRAMATC ROUND NX CRNR." Of course, they didn't know it was the Jones' doublewide.

No, Mabel. That garage remote cannot lift the Jones house off its foundation, although the Dodge almost can. Next time drive around the thing, will you pulleeze?

Imagine the poor Joneses sitting down to dinner. "Honey. Look who's coming to dinner. It's Mabel."

"Mabel, dear. So glad you dropped in. Maybe next time you could call first. George, I think the dog is trapped under the transmission...George! Where are you George? You're under the transmission too? Do you think AAA handles something like this, George?...George?!"

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Boeing 720 Gives Birth to Cessna 172

News of Note:

Dateline: Washington, D.C. The Washington Post reported today that a Boeing 720 has given birth to a Cessna 172 single prop aircraft. The proud papa is an Airbus 340, and this is the first successful mating in captivity of a Boeing with a French made Airbus according to the Post’s report.

Prior to this the Boeing has been far too shy to mate while in captivity, whereas the French Airbus will mate pretty much anywhere. Said French President Nicolas Sarkozy, “But, of course, it eez a French aircraft. What else would you expect?”

An unidentified source at Boeing was reported to have hinted that the Boeing company has begun to embrace the outlook that breeding new airplanes will prove far more cost effective than manufacturing them. The difficult part of the process will be rearing and training the young Cessna both to develop and behave like a Boeing.

“This process is still in its infancy, if you will pardon the pun,” said the source. “A great deal more study is needed to produce the type of offspring we desire.”

Last month a Russian made IL-78 Tanker gave birth to twins, while another tanker had triplets. Here is a photo of the tanker mother breast feeding her twin MIG-31s. Another photo of a an IL Tanker mother feeding her jet fighter triplets is below that.

Although prolific, the Russian tankers have proven to be less than reliable. The problem with the IL Tanker is that it will mate with just about anything, and the fathers of both the twins and the triplets are unknown.

An unidentified source at Boeing said that it is difficult to obtain a very high sales price for such mutt fighters. When the father is some unknown crazy Russian aircraft, there just is not much of a market for those type of planes.

There was even one case of an IL-78 that had hooked up with an Italian sports car. “We believe that the suitor was a lead footed Ferrari, but we put stop to that relationship in a hurry,” said a Russian spokesman.

“Imagine what the result of that mating might be,” said the spokesman. “The offspring would probably have to be sent directly to the scrap yard.”

“These tankers simply have to begin staying away from the type of machine that is a bad influence,” the source said.

We also show a photo of a Boeing and the Airbus just prior to the mating ritual. The photo depicts just how precarious aircraft mating can be.

An Airbus spokesperson is reported to have stated that any premature disarticulation could prove catastrophic for both aircraft. “An error of that nature at that altitude could render both airplanes sterile,” the spokesperson said.

“We certainly do not need an Airbus in our fleet that is incapable of procreation. Fatherhood is a trait the French people cherish highly. And that goes for our aircraft as well,” the spokesperson said.

The final photo is that of a French Airbus 300 being prepared for surgery to reverse a vasectomy, which was previously a common procedure for the Airbus. The French wanted to prevent unwanted little airbuses suddenly appearing without notice.

Now that parturition is becoming more common for these aircraft, reverse vasectomies are also increasingly popular.