Showing posts with label funny photos. Show all posts
Showing posts with label funny photos. Show all posts

Wednesday, September 2, 2009

Giant Cow Maze Appears in Farm Field - Did UFOs Do It?

This giant cow maze appeared in a farm field in Marienfelde, which is in Germany, a tad Southwest of Berlin. However, this is one time when we know it was not UFOs that were carving up the landscape.

The maze is the work of Germany's Federal Institute of Risk Assessment, which is a government agency dedicated to examining the dangers posed by products in everyday life. The purpose of carving such a complex labyrinth into a corn field was to raise public awareness of the advantages of eating healthy foods and of the potential dangers of harmful substances found in food. Plus they also wanted to explain the digestion process that occurs in a cow's stomach.

One must assume that a successful trip from the cow's mouth through the stomach and digestive tract would educate you on how food travels through a bovine's digestive system. What a way to learn!

However, if memory serves from elementary school science class, don't cows have four stomachs or compartments within their stomach? Perhaps one must actually walk the labyrinth set up by the Institute to understand it all?

More Animal Humor
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Redneck Playground or Your Kid is Elephant Poopy
Smartest Monkey on Earth - Video
Does This Dog Belong to Jesus?
Worst Job Ever

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Monday, June 22, 2009

Redneck Playground or Your Kid is Elephant Poopy


Safety is of paramount importance when designing anything children will use. There can be no parts that will pinch tiny fingers; in no way can any of the equipment or parts of the equipment tip over; and harmful substances such as lead paint or or any parts small enough to swallow simply are not allowed.

But our redneck playground designer must have skipped school the day his professor discussed appropriateness of theme, because something is wrong when your kids return home from the playground crying and telling you the other kids teased them and called them elephant poopy.

"Peter, Peter is elephant poopy. Emily smells like elephant poop. Nah-nah nah nah-nah!"

I don't know about you but hearing that my kids are being compared to elephant poop worries me that it may create an identity crisis in the four-year-old mind. That sort of nick name may tend to linger longer than one might like not unlike the odor of pachyderm poop.

"...I don't smell like elephant poopy, do I Daddy?"

One must reassure four-year-olds about enough other things in life without having to add elephant poopy to the list.

"Peter, the sky is blue because God painted it that color when he had left over paint from painting his living room. And no you do not smell like elephant poopy. Your mom makes you take lots of baths so you will only smell like a clean little boy."

Perhaps an elephant slide such as this one is not an issue in the Redneck mind because four-year-old Redneck little boys normally do smell like elephant poopy.

Worst job ever
Alcoholic Elephants on the Rampage
Big Girl in the Shower
Second Worst Job Ever

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Sunday, June 21, 2009

Google Street View Shows Dutch Mugging

Google Street View has assisted Dutch police in the apprehension of two alleged muggers whose photo was snapped by Google's Street View crew moments before a mugging went down in the city of Groningen, Netherlands last September.


The boy on the bicycle is the victim in the mugging and the other two young men have been arrested as the alleged muggers. This photo was taken as the Google vehicle traveled down Merwedestraat in Groningen.

According to the 14-year-old victim, whose name has been withheld because of his age, moments after this photo was taken the two young Muslim immigrants in the photo allegedly mugged him dragging him off of his bicycle and taking his cell phone and 165 Euros ($239 US), although why a 14-year-old would have that much money on him is a bit of a mystery.


Initially the 14-year-old was unable to identify his assailants, however, in March he spotted this photo on Google Street View and realized that the photo was taken only moments before he was assaulted.

The police requested the original photo from Google, which did not have the deliberately blurred faces this photo has. A robbery squad detective immediately recognized the face of one of the alleged assailants, who are twin brothers known to police.

For those of you who prefer to view the original photo, enter this address, Merwedestraat 60, 9725 Groningen, Netherlands, into Google and then search maps. Once you arrive at the map of the location, click on street view. Rotate the photo to the right to view a pic of our mugging just before it happened.

Clearly the joke is on the two alleged muggers in this instance because technology has helped justice triumph once again.

Worst Job Ever
Redneck Fire Breathing Dragon
Redneck High School Reunion

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Thursday, May 7, 2009

Does This Dog Belong to Jesus?


If Jesus had a dog, this would be His dog

Obviously this dog can walk on water, so if Jesus had a dog, this dog would be His. But this dog is a bit shy about getting his feet wet, so the water must be on the cold side. Hey pup! If you are going to hang out with the Big Guy, you have to learn to suck it up.

Photo provided by TheSun.co.uk

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Saturday, February 7, 2009

A Phew Phunny Photos You'll Like

It's Phunny Photo time, and with themes ranging from horse sense to conspiracy theories, I believe that today we have a phew gems you will like.

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Hey boss! Did you try testing the alternator?
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This next sign is a re-creation of a sign that was posted in a construction zone in Lubbock, Texas. It seems that some techie managed to hack into the computer for the sign and added his own version of what should be posted there.



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Do you know one of those conspiracy theorists who constantly thinks that everyone is plotting to take over the world? Maybe they are.

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It is sometimes amazing how some businesses survive considering their level of customer service.

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That's a lot of Budweiser!

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Have you ever spent time wandering through a cemetery? You might be surprised at the eye opening sights you will see.

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Getting a proper education is not necessary to make it in this world, but it may save you from an embarrassing moment or two. BTW, remind me to call the missus to ask her to pick up "are" kids from school.

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Either Elmer Fudd or Barbara Walters must live in this neighborhood.

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If their customers are just plain mean, they should charge them a lot more than $10. How about $110?

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Redneck Fire-Breathing Dragon
Redneck Fire-Breathing Dragon


Worst Job Ever
Worst Job Ever


Redneck High School Reunion
Redneck High School Reunion


Redneck Penguins
Redneck Penguins

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Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Foto Funnies

There is nothing like a funny photo or two to cheer you up, and these pics certainly qualify:

Roller Coaster Fear


Talk about a picture that says a thousand words! This poor little girl looks absolutely petrified. What do you want to bet she has nightmares over this ride?

Poor young thing! Don't you know you are supposed to enjoy riding the roller coaster? This is a funny photo though.

But...where do you think the photographer was standing? Cannot figure that one out. He cannot be standing in the car in front because these two must be in the first car. Since there is no seat back in front of them, and the car design is diferent, they have to be in car number one.

Maybe the photog is using a telephoto lens.

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Thing a Thong?

Now see what George Bush has done? The Europeans are so down on the US that they think the whole country is overweight.



Okay Europe! Listen up! How about Charlize Theron? Yay Charlize! She is thin and trim...she's...oh wait a minute. She's from South Africa isn't she? Okay then, what about Nicole Kidman? Nicole is...oops! She is from Australia, is she not? Hmmm...Aha! Halle Berry! Halle is drop dead gorgeous and not a bit overweight even though she just had a baby. We will take Halle Berry over Princess Camilla any day of the week.

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Worst Job II


We recently featured a photo that showed the worst job ever, but this job is not far behind. Pay attention to this America. The economy is going downhill in a hurry, so this is your future employment right here. You may as well get used to it.

It doesn't even look like she is wearing gloves...eeww!

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It's a Wonderful Wife!




Ain't love grand? Here we find Helga helping out Ole get the tractor into town to get its wheel fixed.

You can just tell from their satisfied look that this couple has figured out how to make their marriage hum. There is hope for the world yet.

Hey Europe! We do not think Carla Bruni would be much help in this situation, now would she? Nooo...you must be a heavy eater to make this situation work. Lots and lots of meat and potatoes make this marital union run just like clockwork.

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Redneck Fire-Breathing Dragon
Redneck Fire-Breathing Dragon


Worst Job Ever
Worst Job Ever


Redneck High School Reunion
Redneck High School Reunion


Redneck Penguins
Redneck Penguins

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Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Funny Candidate License Plates

With election day almost upon us, we thought we would research the presidential and vice presidential candidates and their license plates to see if we could learn anything or find anything humorous about them. Let's see how they look.


Sarah Palin:



Wait a minute...this cannot be right. There is something wrong with this one. This cannot be Governor Palin's license plate, although it is from Alaska and it is a government plate, which is what a governor might use. We will have to look into this one. It seems there is some shenanigans afoot.

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John McCain:


Well, Senator McCain did say that he owns 13 cars, so it makes sense that he would have several different license plates. They all fit our man McCain. Hey, wait a minute. McCain didn't serve in the Civil War, did he?

Oh, it's just another age joke. McCain should tell folks he's 72 going on 22 because he has so much energy.
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Barack Obama:


Barack Obama is a US Senator from the state of Illinois, so it is natural that he might have both Illinois plates and plates from the Washington, D.C. area. Virginia fits right in there. "Obama 08" sounds just like Obama man.

"God Complex" is not something that Obama would put on his own plate. I think the second one is a fake. It's probably something the Republicans slid in unobtrusively.

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Joe Biden:


It appears that Joe Biden's plate has a double meaning. Joe could mean he is biding (biden') time, or he may mean it's Biden time, as in "it's Miller Time."

Personally I think he means let's have a tall cool one, and I am not talking about Sarah Palin again. Joe looks like he might be the type of guy who would kick back for a beer break. Either way, I think Joe's plate is the cleverest of the group.

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Hillary Clinton Stars in Song and Dance Routine as Chiquita

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Ad Libs from a Talking Photo Booth

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McCain Economic Plan - Everyone Marry an Heiress

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John McCain, Barack Obama, Sarah Palin and Joe Biden Sing and Breakdance


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Monday, September 15, 2008

Worst Job Ever


This absolutely, positively has to be the worst job ever, bar none. You could not pay me enough to do this for a living. Sorry all you veterinarians, but this is where I draw the line.

Can't you see the circus manager saying, "Hey, Johnny! Call the vet! Big Bertha's compacted again. Can't get that girl to eat enough roughage, no matter what I do."

What does this vet say to people when he is first introduced to them? "How do you do? I'm John Smith....What type of work do I do? I'm an elephant veterinarian. I specialize in compacted elephants. Have enema will travel is my motto."

The second worst job in the world is the guy holding Bertha's tail.

His big mistake is he is not dressed for the job. What happens when the enema takes effect and Bertha let's her rip. The guy holding the tail is in the direct line of fire, and he is not protected with plastic like the vet is.

I am so much more appreciative of having a desk job now than ever before. I understand the dedication of animal lovers, but, this has to take the cake.

Notice how the guy holding the tail intently peers at what the vet is doing. He probably aspires to be a vet some day himself. If this does not turn him off from the vet business, nothing will.

I guess there is nothing like on the job training.

More Elephant Humor
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Curiosity Didn't Kill This Cat
Rocky, the Drunken Squirrel

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Sunday, September 7, 2008

Email of the Month

In a new feature we are proud to display our email of the month. Have a look at this email sent to a colleague:


Well, that would upset me too. I sure hope our mailer can get those images back on the other guys web site. The nerve of some people.

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Sunday, August 31, 2008

Redneck Photoshop - Pantyless Britney Spears and Others

Daisy, over at the charming blog, Smiling with Daisy, provided me with an inkling of an idea a while back when she blogged a post about sites that had online software which gave you with the ability to manipulate photographs in numerous ways. Stop in to see Daisy, when you get a chance because she has a family type blog that looks at life from a funny, warm and wholesome perspective.

Well, kudos to Daisy because her post was the genesis of this post. She manipulated a few photos with some interesting results, so I wondered what the results might be if Bubba, one of our resident rednecks, took a turn at manipulating photos of celebrities. Instead of using online software, Bubba used Paint Shop Pro, a program which is similar to Photoshop, but a whole lot cheaper.

Bubba took some normal celebrity photos and changed all of the colors in the photo to just one color, such as silver, gold and red. Here are some of the results:

Jay Leno:













Jay Leno, star of the Tonight Show, has an very strong jaw that came out even stronger when his photo was changed to silver. The result is that Ol' Jay has a determined but simpler look in silver than he does in real life. In fact, Jay looks like he would fit in very well with Bubba and his redneck friends.

Jay's new look reminds us a lot of Gomer Pyle, from the TV show back in the 1960's. Hey! Gomer! Yeah, Ol' Redneck Jay looks like a Gomer and is a good fit in his silver makeover.

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Jud Tylor:



Jud Tylor is one remarkable looking young actress, who was most recently seen with Tom Hanks and Julia Roberts in Charlie Wilson's War.

Bubba took a photo of Jud from the cover of Stuff magazine, where she looked so very hot, steamy even. He converted her to silver and came up with a hot Jud Tylor, whose bosom looks even bigger if that is possible. But she also looks a bit dangerous. Her hair seems to have changed to scarecrow straw, and her eyes look right through you. Go ahead, look into the eyes of the silver Jud. This girl is scary!

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Carson Daly:
















For the unaware, Carson Daly hosts a talk show called Last Call with Carson Daly, which airs after the Conan O'Brien Show, which is on after the Jay Leno show. Carson's show comes on around 12-2 AM depending on what TV market you are in.

Carson sports an extremely juvenile looking mustache that makes him look like he's about 16-years-old at the most. He usually wears a suit with a tie that is loose around his neck and his shirts are generally not tucked in even when wearing a suit. His look totally sucks, but some of the teens and 20 somethings seem to like him, which is the market he is after.

When Bubba went to work on Carson, he gave him a fat lip along with a small hole in the end of his nose, which fits right in with the teenage audience that Carson aspires to attract because that age group often seems to be piercing something on their faces.

The silver look made Carson's teeth appear to be decayed, which is a common look from the silver makeover.

At least the silver made Carson's mustache appear more like an adult, but Carson turned down my request to be my friend on MySpace, which means he is now rather low on my admired list.

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Angelina Jolie:














































Bubba went whole hog on the stunning Angelina Jolie, converting her into silver, gold, and hot red. In the gold and red, she looks like she's in black face, ala one of those movies from the 1930's. But in the silver, she resembles a witch doctor from a Tarzan movie from the 1950's.

What a waste of a beautiful actress, turning her into a witch doctor. Now if she were a high priestess, that would be a fitting makeover for Angelina.

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George Clooney:





















Bubba made over the peripatetic 47-year-old actor, George Clooney, in both silver and gold. In the gold photo, the makeover results in George's teeth appearing like he just finished eating a package of oreos. Got a sweet tooth George?

All of you women know that George, who is still a bachelor by the way, looks remarkably good in silver, gold or any other color of the rainbow.

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Britney Spears Kissing Madonna:














Remember the infamous kiss onstage between Madonna and Britney Spears? Madonna, who has made an entire career based on bizarre and anti-social behavior, orchestrated this little shocker which initiated an international discussion of girl-on-girl action.

For some reason, Bubba especially enjoyed this little makeover, and enjoyed it a little too much at that, I might add. The final products both look a lot like statues to me. Notice, though, how Madonna appears like she has bare arms in the makeovers as opposed to the black sleeves in the original photo.

Because we anticipated this photo would result in a more interesting effect than it did, we decided to add the piece de resistance:

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Britney Spears Bottomless:


















This is not an x-rated blog and we have no desire to shock anyone, so we chose the less revealing of the two photos on the Net displaying the pantyless Britney Spears for all to see. Plus we have strategically placed an opaque little rectangle on the photo in order to maintain our PG rating.

The silver makeover of Britney sans panties actually makes it look like she is wearing some. How does that work anyway? The makeover is far less shocking than the original photo. Evidently, some things were meant to be observed with the benefit of the full color spectrum, just as nature intended. Go figure.

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That does it for this version of our Redneck Photoshop. If you like it, let us know and we may do another, or not.

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More Jud Tylor
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