Wednesday, September 26, 2007

Boeing 720 Gives Birth to Cessna 172

News of Note:

Dateline: Washington, D.C. The Washington Post reported today that a Boeing 720 has given birth to a Cessna 172 single prop aircraft. The proud papa is an Airbus 340, and this is the first successful mating in captivity of a Boeing with a French made Airbus according to the Post’s report.

Prior to this the Boeing has been far too shy to mate while in captivity, whereas the French Airbus will mate pretty much anywhere. Said French President Nicolas Sarkozy, “But, of course, it eez a French aircraft. What else would you expect?”

An unidentified source at Boeing was reported to have hinted that the Boeing company has begun to embrace the outlook that breeding new airplanes will prove far more cost effective than manufacturing them. The difficult part of the process will be rearing and training the young Cessna both to develop and behave like a Boeing.

“This process is still in its infancy, if you will pardon the pun,” said the source. “A great deal more study is needed to produce the type of offspring we desire.”

Last month a Russian made IL-78 Tanker gave birth to twins, while another tanker had triplets. Here is a photo of the tanker mother breast feeding her twin MIG-31s. Another photo of a an IL Tanker mother feeding her jet fighter triplets is below that.

Although prolific, the Russian tankers have proven to be less than reliable. The problem with the IL Tanker is that it will mate with just about anything, and the fathers of both the twins and the triplets are unknown.

An unidentified source at Boeing said that it is difficult to obtain a very high sales price for such mutt fighters. When the father is some unknown crazy Russian aircraft, there just is not much of a market for those type of planes.

There was even one case of an IL-78 that had hooked up with an Italian sports car. “We believe that the suitor was a lead footed Ferrari, but we put stop to that relationship in a hurry,” said a Russian spokesman.

“Imagine what the result of that mating might be,” said the spokesman. “The offspring would probably have to be sent directly to the scrap yard.”

“These tankers simply have to begin staying away from the type of machine that is a bad influence,” the source said.

We also show a photo of a Boeing and the Airbus just prior to the mating ritual. The photo depicts just how precarious aircraft mating can be.

An Airbus spokesperson is reported to have stated that any premature disarticulation could prove catastrophic for both aircraft. “An error of that nature at that altitude could render both airplanes sterile,” the spokesperson said.

“We certainly do not need an Airbus in our fleet that is incapable of procreation. Fatherhood is a trait the French people cherish highly. And that goes for our aircraft as well,” the spokesperson said.

The final photo is that of a French Airbus 300 being prepared for surgery to reverse a vasectomy, which was previously a common procedure for the Airbus. The French wanted to prevent unwanted little airbuses suddenly appearing without notice.

Now that parturition is becoming more common for these aircraft, reverse vasectomies are also increasingly popular.

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2 comments:

the frogster said...

I was once on board a helicpter when it tried to mate with a submarine. It was sad, seeing the poor thing so confused.

McCafferty Himself said...

Frogster,

Well, I'm not surprised. you know what cold water can do to your mating ability.