Monday, June 22, 2009

Redneck Playground or Your Kid is Elephant Poopy


Safety is of paramount importance when designing anything children will use. There can be no parts that will pinch tiny fingers; in no way can any of the equipment or parts of the equipment tip over; and harmful substances such as lead paint or or any parts small enough to swallow simply are not allowed.

But our redneck playground designer must have skipped school the day his professor discussed appropriateness of theme, because something is wrong when your kids return home from the playground crying and telling you the other kids teased them and called them elephant poopy.

"Peter, Peter is elephant poopy. Emily smells like elephant poop. Nah-nah nah nah-nah!"

I don't know about you but hearing that my kids are being compared to elephant poop worries me that it may create an identity crisis in the four-year-old mind. That sort of nick name may tend to linger longer than one might like not unlike the odor of pachyderm poop.

"...I don't smell like elephant poopy, do I Daddy?"

One must reassure four-year-olds about enough other things in life without having to add elephant poopy to the list.

"Peter, the sky is blue because God painted it that color when he had left over paint from painting his living room. And no you do not smell like elephant poopy. Your mom makes you take lots of baths so you will only smell like a clean little boy."

Perhaps an elephant slide such as this one is not an issue in the Redneck mind because four-year-old Redneck little boys normally do smell like elephant poopy.

Worst job ever
Alcoholic Elephants on the Rampage
Big Girl in the Shower
Second Worst Job Ever

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3 comments:

Daisy said...

HA HA HA HA HA! How crazy is that! I have to wonder what someone was thinking when he or she came up with that idea. Funny post, McCafferty! :D

Chris said...

Good picture. Stupid post. This playground isn't even in the United States. So the term "redneck" would only be something that an american would use. Clearly the architect has a sense of humor. The children in other countries get this type of humor and luckily, parents there don't project issues of self doubt onto their children. INCREDIBLY, the poster goes as far to cry out the wrongs of appropriateness and causing identity crisis ONLY to insult another countryman of their own at the end.

McCafferty Himself said...

As things are done so often these days, The problem is merely a cultural difference, which clears things right up then, despite your desire to blame the Americans