Wednesday, September 24, 2008

McCain Economic Plan - Everyone Marry an Heiress

John McCain offered his master economic plan today in a speech before business leaders in Detroit. The plan is so simple it is ingenious. McCain's plan calls for everyone in the nation to marry a beer heiress just like he did.

Cindy McCain is an heiress to her father's Anheuser-Busch distributorship empire. James Hensley, her multi-millionaire father, owned one of the largest beer distributorships in the US.

McCain's economic philosophy is that if he was able to marry a beer heiress, everyone else can too. Of course the video explains that there may not be a beer heiress in your town. In that case you should consider a logging heiress.

Watch the video for a more thorough explanation of McCain's plan:

McCain's economic concept is so simple yet so profound that it is possible he could earn a Nobel Prize in Economics for this groundbreaking theory.

Once you have married an heiress the price of oil would be insignificant. Why would you care whether gas cost $4 or $40?

John McCain owns 13 cars. If we all married an heiress, the automobile business would boom as would the real estate business. McCain cannot even remember how many houses he owns.

We would all own several homes.

This concept could be the major point in the presidential campaign that turns the tide toward the John McCain camp.

How will Barack Obama respond to this election changing event?

John McCain, Barack Obama, Sarah Palin and Joe Biden Sing and Breakdance
George Bush Dances the Can Can
Hillary Clinton Stars in Song and Dance Routine as Chiquita
Hillary Clinton Graffiti
Bill Clinton Graffiti
George Bush's Satellite Dish

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Anonymous said...

Obama has no chance with that silly american-dream pulling-up-by-bootstraps nonsense.

I going out right now to look for my very own local beer heiress to marry. Pure genius.

Anonymous said...

btw - what the hell is a nofollow free blog?

Connie said...

Well, ha ha ha, this seems like a good idea in theory, doesn't it?! HA! I have a feeling there aren't going to be enough beer or logging heiresses to go around though. Funny post, McCafferty! :D

McCafferty Himself said...


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