Hero Humor

Okay. If crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fire, what do freedom fighters fight? Yeah…They never mention that part to us, do they?

--Thanks to George Carlin

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Frisbeetarianism

Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck.

--Thanks to George Carlin

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Driving Humor

Here are some pointers about driving from George Carlin’s “Napalm and Silly Putty:”

Have you ever noticed, when you're driving, that anyone driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone driving faster than you is a maniac?

Here are a few basic points about driving. One of the first things they teach you in Driver's Ed is where to put your hands on the steering wheel. They tell you put them at ten o'clock and two o'clock.

Never mind that. I put mine at 9:45 and 2:17. That gives me an extra half hour to get where I'm going.

More Driving Humor...

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Origin of Flamethrowers

The very existence of flamethrowers is proof that at some time or another, somewhere, somebody said to himself, "You know, I really want to set those people over there on fire, but I'm just not close enough to get the job done."

--Thanks to George Carlin

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Funny News Reporter Bloopers

TV news reporters are responsible for some hilarious bloopers that usually just end up on the editing room floor without anyone getting the opportunity to laugh at them. Well fortunately, we have managed to rescue a select few. All of our videos are short, so please do not worry about your time commitment.

You folks living in warm weather cities do not know how much fun you are missing by not getting any snow. In our first video the reporter is doing a story about the hidden dangers for kids when they hang around the snow plow. It is one of my favorites. Have a look:



I have watched that one several times and I still laugh out loud every time I watch it.

*****

Remember comedian George Carlin's skit about the seven words you cannot say on TV? When it comes to reporters, there are many more taboo words than just seven. The reporter in this next video mistakenly lets out a major slip of the tongue, and he gets a bit flushed because of his error. Watch:



I certainly hope that Miss Nevada is able to get her tittle back. I think that it is a significant aspect to her charm. In fact I cannot imagine how she would look without it.

Don't you think that The Donald should give her tittle back? C'mon, Donald! Give that poor girl her tittle back. The nerve of some control freaks, wanting to keep the tittles all for themselves.

*****

You really have to feel sorry for the reporter in this next video. This poor girl never saw that train coming. As it says in the beginning of the video: No light fixtures were harmed during the making of this video. We don't want the electricians' union mad at us.



I could be wrong, but I smell a law suit here. As for the medical condition of the reporter, I only know that she did not die. Wish I could tell you more.

*****

We have room for just one more blooper. It has nothing to do with reporters, but it fits in here very well.


Somebody seems to have mistaken the house for the garage. This is happening all too frequently these days. What do you want to bet that the driver was texting someone at the time of the accident?

Maybe it was about their horoscope. It might have gone something like this: "BFF. HORSCOP SZ SMTHNG DRAMATC ROUND NX CRNR." Of course, they didn't know it was the Jones' doublewide.

No, Mabel. That garage remote cannot lift the Jones house off its foundation, although the Dodge almost can. Next time drive around the thing, will you pulleeze?

Imagine the poor Joneses sitting down to dinner. "Honey. Look who's coming to dinner. It's Mabel."

"Mabel, dear. So glad you dropped in. Maybe next time you could call first. George, I think the dog is trapped under the transmission...George! Where are you George? You're under the transmission too? Do you think AAA handles something like this, George?...George?!"

More Bloopers - Funny Photos - Wrong Place and Time Bloopers
More Bloopers - Ordinary Birds Turn Violent
If Cute is your thing, this video is for you - Otter Heaven Video
How about Cute Bloopers? - Kitty Cat Video Bloopers

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World's Smallest Man - Almost

Khagendra Thapa Magar is a 17-year-old boy who lives in Nepal, who stands 2 feet tall and who weighs only 10 pounds. He is in the process of applying to the Guinness world record people to be proclaimed as the world's smallest man once he turns 18 in October.

The current world record holder for the smallest man is 2ft 5in He Ping Ping of China. Khagendra is smaller, but he must be 18 to claim the title of shortest and lightest man in the world.

Khagendra's mother, Dhana Maya Thapa Magar, said "He was born weighing only 600 grams (1 lb, 5 oz).

"It was like watching a newly hatched chick fresh from a shell.

"I admit that at first I was ashamed of him and would not leave the house, but now I only feel pride and am desperate for him to be named as the tiniest man in the world."

He was born in the remote Baglung District, which is 125 miles from the capital city of Kathmandu. Khagendra has become a minor celebrity in Nepal and some politicians are helping him become listed by Guinness as the world's smallest man.

His goal is some day to travel to the United States once he officially becomes the Guinness Book of Records' smallest man in the world. In the US he hopes to show the world what the smallest man looks like and perhaps also show the world a few dance moves.

Times must a a bit harsh in Nepal if all one can aspire for is to be a curiosity in a traveling freak show. Although anything is possible with notoriety. Perhaps he could even apply to become Paris Hilton's personal human lap dog.

That would not be a bad lap to sit in now would it, Khagendra?

Try Funny Redneck Photos
Paris Hilton Graffiti
George Carlin Humor
Elliot Spitzer humor

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