Humorous Quotes 3

Here are some more humorous quotes:

David Letterman: "Harry Potter got arrested on the subway for showing off his wand."

Amy Poehler - Saturday Night Live: "Barak Obama made an appearance in New Hampshire over the weekend. To which, President Bush replied, 'Did we catch him?'"

David Letterman: "Osama Bin Laden came out with an other video. It was full of insults, maniacal threats and rants...no wait a minute. That was Rosie's blog."

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More Humorous Quotes

Here is a handful of humorous quotes:

Bill Maher: CNN, to mark the fifth anniversary of 9/11, is going to be re-playing their original coverage of that day. Let's just hope that President Bush doesn't tune in and go, "Oh my God, they've done it again!."

Chico Marx: Well, who you gonna believe, me or your own eyes?

Homer Simpson: Just once, I wish someone would call me "sir" without adding, "you're making a scene."

Jeff Foxworthy: Being a designated driver is not a desirable job. If you ever get sucked into doing it, have fun with it. At the end of the night, drop them off at the wrong house.

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Humorous Quotes

Here are a few humorous quotations from various comedians:

Here's to our wives and girlfriends...may they never meet! --Groucho Marx

If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments. --Flip Wilson

Ah, the patter of little feet around the house. There's nothing like having a midget for a butler. --W. C. Fields

I don't deserve this award, but I have arthritis and I don't deserve that either. --Jack Benny

Working out is important. You have to stay in shape. My grandmother, she started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She's 97 today and we don't know where the hell she is. --Ellen Degeneres.

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