Tuesday, June 12, 2007

What is Up That Kilt?

Women have asked for years what do those brawny Scottish men wear beneath those kilts. Now, we unfortunately know. From the male point of view, this is really information overload.

Such a shot is reminiscent of Marilyn Monroe in the 1955 movie “The Seven Year Itch,” which was directed by famed director Billy Wilder. The most famous, or infamous, scene in The Itch showed Marilyn standing on a subway grating and letting the onrushing hot air blow her skirt every which way but what was proper and acceptable for the times. Such a scene was quite scandalous in 1955.

Mrs. Mick tells me that the Scot in the rear, so to speak, has nice legs and touché. That is her way of saying he has hot buns. Some women feel out of place if they remark publicly about a man’s bottom. Using the word nice makes the woman feel like she has made her point but is still is a lady after having said it.

Other women, of course, lean toward the redneck viewpoint and will say pretty much anything that is on their mind, regardless of who it offends. They will not hesitate to say something like, “damn, look at those hot glutes. Come to momma, baby!”

You are entitled to embrace whichever viewpoint you wish.

Then, on the other hand, you have Bert and Ernie there with their gluteal outlook on life. Both Bert and Ernie seem oblivious to what our photographer has captured on film. Naturally, we are protecting both Bert and Ernie’s identity. What would Mrs. Bert say if he were identified? Hopefully, not “come to momma, baby!”

It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to tell you that Bert is going to come in dead last in the polls on this issue. The Scotsman wins again, which does not really explain why the tone of the bagpipe has a bit of that plaintive cry in it.

You have the Scottish buns versus Bert’s butt crack. Why would there be anything plaintive in whatever the Scot does? You would think he would be strutting like a peacock with his buns of steel.

Perhaps it is simply his way of saying nice?

Try the Redneck Version...

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