If you ever thought that guns went well with young girls in bikinis, you were simply wrong dude, regardless of what some gun magazines want you to believe. We have posted proof of our assertion that, while bimbos and bikinis may seem a natural combination, mixing guns with bikinis is as unnatural as it comes.
In fact, such a union might just turn out lethal.
Please bear that in mind while watching our first video:
Those last two girls in the vid were just plain dangerous. The one sitting on the bicycle handlebars just missed shooting off her feet by only inches. When this lady is armed, she is truly a lethal weapon. Lethal to whom is the question.
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We do not want you to think of us as male chauvinist pigs, so that is why we included the second video about girls, bikinis and guns. Unlike the women of our first video, these young bikini-clad women of our second video prove they know their way around a weapon.
Take Sidney, for example, the young blonde woman in the red, white and blue bikini firing the Tech 9:
Sidney is proof we are not sexist because this girl knows how to handle a Tech 9, a small, lightweight automatic handgun weighing only 4.5 pounds. The Tech 9 fires 9mm ammunition and is popular because of its small size and light weight.
The Tech 9 is available as a semi-automatic or fully-automatic weapon, although fully automatic guns are illegal in the US.
Sidney is also popular because of her small size and light weight. Not only that, it is our guess that she could handle her own in a fire fight, but we do not know if Sidney qualifies as semi or fully automatic. The fact that she wears a bikini is totally irrelevant and beside the point.
Gloria models the AK47, which is the weapon of choice for most of the world's terrorists. The AK47 is cheap and remarkable strong and virtually indestructible.
The AK47 fires 7.26mm ammunition and weighs in at just under 9.5 pounds. Many a US soldier who has seen combat will recognize the distinctive sound of the AK47.
We know you want to know if Gloria is cheap, strong and indestructible too, but we are not going there. Sometimes saying less is better than saying more. We are unsure whether Gloria's sound is distinctive or not.
We could continue all day inflicting innuendo upon innuendo about the other young models in our videos, but we know that watching is much more fun than merely reading about it.
Our first video comes straight from an air show where the pilots perform tricky maneuvers that make you wonder why they don't get killed. This pilot lands his plane on a moving runway that is not much longer than the plane itself. Quite Remarkable.
I guess that pilot skill tells it all, and this pilot lets his skill shine through.
Now that is some remarkable flying, but can he do it in a Boeing 767? Seriously, that must be the shortest runway ever, and the only other moving runways I can think of are on aircraft carriers.
Learning how to perform that trick might place you in harm's way because you would have to make the landing on your first try.
This next video comes from an auto commercial that was supposed to play in the US, but I have not seen it yet. It adds an entire new twist to videos with scantily clad beauties washing your car in the school parking lot.
It has the plenty of water fights and very little clothes worn by the washers, but...well, you pretty much need to see it to understand. Watch.
It is a special blonde celebration day here at McCafferty's Pub. If you are blonde it is happy hour all day long for you. To honor the blondes and the joy they add to our world here at McCafferty's, the patrons have come up with a few more blonde jokes, stories and videos.
If you are blonde yourself, there is a possibility that you may need someone to explain the jokes to you, so make sure that your other half is somewhere about while you read them.
The Firing Squad
A brunette, a redhead, and a blonde are about to executed by a firing squad for perpetrating crimes against humanity. The brunette and the redhead are very beautiful, while the blonde is on the plain side and is slightly on the dumber side too.
The guards bring the brunette forward first, and the executioner recites his usual statement asking the brunette if she has any last requests.
Vanessa, the brunette replies, “No.”
Then the executioner shouts to his firing squad, "Ready . . . Aim . . ."
Suddenly Vanessa shouts out, "earthquake!"
Everyone is startled, surprised and is looking around for signs of an earthquake. Amidst all of the hubbub Vanessa, the brunette, manages to disappear and evade her date with destiny. Naturally, the guards are very angry because they know they will be held accountable for letting the brunette escape. They next bring the redhead forward to face the firing squad, after which the executioner asks her if she has any last requests.
“no,” responds Nicole, the beautiful redhead.
Then the executioner shouts, "Ready . . . Aim . . ."
Nicole suddenly screams loudly, "tornado!"
Once again, everyone including the guards is startled and looking skyward for signs of a tornado.
Amidst the hullabaloo, Nicole, the redhead, also manages to escape.
By this point, Ellen, the blonde, has figured out the secret to what the others did to escape. The guards angrily drag her in front of the firing squad.
The executioner then asks if Ellen has any last requests.
Ellen also replies, “No.”
So the executioner again shouts, “Ready . . . Aim . . ."
At that moment Ellen, the blonde, suddenly shouts out, "Fire!"
*****
Police Lecture
A policeman is lecturing three blonde trainees who are studying to become detectives. To test their skills in recognizing a suspect, he shows the first blonde a picture for five seconds and then hides it from view.
The policeman then asks the first blonde, "This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?"
The first blonde answers, "That's easy, we will be able to catch him quickly because he only has one eye!"
The policeman, who is a little unnerved by her response, then says, "Well...uh...that's because the picture shows his profile."
Flustered by the first blonde’s ridiculous response, the policeman flashes the picture for five seconds at the second blonde and then asks her, "This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?"
The second blonde is confident of her answer replying, "Ha! He would be easy to catch because he only has one ear! There can‘t be many suspects like that around."
The policeman is beginning to lose his patience with his students and responds somewhat angrily, "What's the matter with you two? Only one eye and one ear are showing because the photo is of his profile! Certainly you can come up with better answers than that!"
The officer instructor is extremely frustrated by now, but he shows the picture to the third blonde because he hopes she has more on the ball and the other two blondes. He asks in a slightly testy voice, "This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?" Then he quickly adds, "now think hard before giving me a stupid answer."
The third blonde looks at the picture intently for a quite a while, then says, "Hmm...the suspect wears contact lenses."
The policeman is pleasantly surprised because even he doesn't really know if the suspect wears contacts or not. "Well, that's a very interesting answer. You ladies wait here for a few minutes while I check the suspect’s file."
Leaving the room the officer goes to his office, checks the suspect's file in his computer, then returns with a beaming smile on his face. "Wow! I can't believe it. It's true! The suspect does wear contact lenses. Good work young lady! How were you ever able to make such an astute observation?"
"That's easy," the third blonde replies. "He can't possibly wear regular glasses because he has only one eye and one ear."
*****
The Ventriloquist
While touring the night clubs performing one night stands a ventriloquist stopped one night to do a performance at a small town in Kansas. He began his usual routine with his dummy on his knee as he told blonde joke after blonde joke.
Suddenly a blonde in the audience stood up on her chair and started shouting, "I've heard enough of your stupid blonde jokes. Why do you think you can stereotype women that way? What does the color of a person's hair have to do with her worth as a human being?”
She continued, “It's men like you that keep women like me from being respected at work and in the community. We’re unable to reach our full potential as a person because of your constant jokes. You and your kind perpetuate discrimination not only against blondes, but also against women in general. It’s a disgrace that is all done under the guise of humor!"
The ventriloquist was truly embarrassed and started to apologize.
But the blonde interrupted yelling “You stay out of this, mister! I'm talking to that little jerk on your knee."
*****
Our video presents an event where rugby and a beautiful blonde blend together harmoniously. How refreshing.
There is a language barrier in this video, but do not let that deter you. You will enjoy it no matter what language you speak.
Now isn't that remarkable. Our bikini clad blonde was featured as athletic, beautiful and intellectual all in one video. There is hope for blonde stereotypes yet.
McCafferty's Pub - a collection of video humor, jokes, funny stories, photos and anecdotes. Special sections are devoted to redneck humor, celebrity humor, grandchildren humor, humorous videos, barroom humor, clean men's room humor and a lot more. If nothing else, you will leave us a bit refreshed.
The good Lord created only two kinds of people in the world: those who are Irish and those who wish they were.
Resep Soto Ayam Surabaya
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menjadi salah satu kuliner favorit kebanyakan masyarakat Indonesia. Meski
secara tam...
