Jessica, a gorgeous blonde, who was waiting for the bus at a crowded bus stop, wore some figure enhancing clothes like a bright red, tight leather mini skirt with matching leather boots and a high fashion leather jacket.
The bus arrived and it was Jessica’s turn to step aboard; however, she soon learned that her skirt was a little too tight. It did not allow her to lift her leg as high as the height of the bus’ first step.
Jessica grew a little embarrassed with her situation, but she flashed a short smile to the bus driver as she reached behind herself, unzipping her skirt a little. She thought that would release her skirt just enough to allow her to lift her leg up to the step.
But as Jessica once again tried to step onto the bus she soon learned that she still could not make that first step. By now everyone behind her in line to get onto the bus realized her situation, and there were a few muffled laughs, which only embarrassed Jessica even more.
Once again Jessica reached her arm behind her, unzipping her skirt just a little more. Once again she tried to raise her leg up to the step, and once again she was unable lift her leg high enough because of her tight skirt.
At this point most of the passengers on the bus realized what was delaying their trip, and they were actively talking about it. Some were shouting encouragement to Jessica. Naturally, she was getting very embarrassed with her situation.
She decided to give her skirt another go, so she again gave a little smile to the driver while she again reached her hand behind herself unzipping the tight red skirt just a little more. But three times were not the charm because she again could not reach that step.
At this point a large lumberjack type who was standing right behind her in line swiftly picked her up by the waist and gently placed her on the step she had tried so hard to reach.
By now Jessica was so embarrassed that she went ballistic, spun around to her would be Sir Lancelot and screamed at him, "How dare you touch my body! I don't even know who you are!"
To which the lumberjack replied, "Well ma'am, I ordinarily would agree with you. But after you unzipped my fly three times, I kinda figured we were friends."
A very attractive blonde woman walks up to the bar in a quiet pub in the Irish countryside. She gestures alluringly to the barkeep, who quickly comes over to her.
When he arrives, she playfully tugs on his full, bushy beard bringing his face close to hers in the process. She starts to gently caress his beard, then she softly strokes his face with both of her hands asking, "Are you the manager?"
"Uh, actually, no, I‘m not," he replies.
"Well, honey, can you get him for me? I need to speak to him." While she speaks, she runs her hands up through his beard and into his hair.
"I'm afraid that I can't," breathlessly replies the bartender, who is getting excited about the possibilities. "Is there anything that I can do?"
"Yes there is,” she answers. “I want you to give him a message for me," she says as she slips two of her fingers into his mouth, allowing him to suck them gently.
"Tell him that there’s no toilet paper in the ladies room."
The game contestant in the following video is not blonde, but the woman he is with is. Perhaps it is a birds of a feather situation. The contestant's hair is gray, but it must have been blonde at one time cause smart he is not. Watch.
Obviously many members of the audience must also be blonde, because 56% of them believe that the sun orbits around the Earth.
What made this guy think he is smart enough to become a contestant on a game show? Perhaps he is the smartest one in his circle of friends, and they encouraged him to apply to be on the show.
"Well, Pierre is smart," they say. "He should go on Millionaire. He is sure to win big time."
Sorry, Pierre.
Ultimate Blonde Video - The Greatest Breasts in the World
Blonde Video Humor: Those Blondes Are at it Again
My Three Favorite Dumb Blonde Videos
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3 comments:
Great jokes, McCafferty! :D
And poor Pierre! HA HA! At least he didn't say Venus or Mars. I think the host was trying to help him by saying the audience answers were divided. Too bad Pierre wasn't able to pick up on that clue. :D
Blonds, You almost have to love them, well mabey not!
OMG - His companion was a 20-something Sarah Palin during her blond period.
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