Sunday, July 27, 2008

Redneck License Plates

Guess what used to be one of the most popular vanity license plates in all 50 states?

Of course it is only popular with the male half of the population. The female half possess a vastly different outlook on what is most popular.

I have yet to meet the missus that is willing to allow her better half to drive around town with a license plate like that. Maybe that is why the guy hates his wife, because she won't let him broadcast the fact that he hates her.

He probably would not hate her as much if she would let him tell the world that he hates her. And if he were totally free to proclaim that he hates her, maybe he wouldn't even hate her at all. But that gets into too much of which came first, the chicken or the egg.

There is probably a female counterpart to that plate, maybe something like this:

But the real reason that these folks hate either their wives or their men is because they fall into this category:

However, you don't see many plates like that driving around because of the strict rules of the motor vehicle departments around the nation. It's not that they don't want you telling folks that you hate your life. We all hate our lives to some degree; it's part of life to hate your life.

No, it's simpler than that. Most DMVs will no longer allow the combination of the letter "H" with the number "8." They claim they do not want to spread hatred.

Now that sounds like an admirable goal, but we know the real reason! The real reason is that they want to censor what you want to say.

Well, down with censorship! This is the Internet and we will say what ever we want to say! And we are going to start saying it right now!

We start with simple redneck license plates like this:

Or this:

Because we want to explore the redneck mentality in all of us, let's skate a little closer to the edge, like this:

Now that sounds sweet and innocent to most of us, but to Bubba, it really means this:

As we explore redneck family relationships even more we find that family reunions get very complicated. Here is one possibility:

And this license plate returns us to that chicken or the egg concept again. Did sis come first or did mom come first? I'm getting a headache just thinking about it.

Now if sis had a headache back when dad made his move on sis, that means that Bubba wouldn't even be here. How's that for complicated?

At that family reunion I heard Jim Bob say, "Well, I'll be a monkey's uncle!" Did he mean that literally?

We have barely scratched the surface with redneck license plates. Think of the possibilities that beckon our exploration in this area, and think of the interesting posts that promise to come from it all.

Try Redneck Graffiti
More Redneck Funny Photos
Redneck Hand Grenade
Redneck High School Reunion
Redneck Power Windows
Redneck Mercedes

If you think this is a funny blog, help promote my site by voting for me at humor-blogs.

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Anonymous said...

I think you like rednecks more than blonds, It's a shame I like yankees , ad there just are not enough jokes to cover the spectrum.
Bu I have a few redneck over at
Got Funny

McCafferty Himself said...

I have noticed that over at your site. I probably have more redneck jokes than blonde jokes because redneckin' is pretty much a state of mind. You can bend and twist a lot of material into a redneck joke, but it's a little harder to do that with a blonde joke.

Connie said...

Some of these remind me of that old song, "I'm my own grandpa." :)

McCafferty Himself said...

Well, Daisy, or should I say Gramps, I appreciate your input.


robkroese said...

You know, there's a word for people who advertise to the world problems that they created for themselves. It's "whiners".

Anonymous said...

Heh.. this is very funny!

Thanks for the shout on my blog. Yes, I've been horrid and neglectful! But I'm getting in a bloggy mood lately!

McCafferty Himself said...

Diesel, I look at your post and consider it an anagram. Lop off the top of the "h" and you have an "n." Moving the letters around gives you the word "winners." Thanks for the compliment, dude.

Jayne, it's good to have you back. Now that you know the way don't be a stranger.


Jen said...

This is funny! and I am a KYer. I went to vote - even spent the time signing up at Humor blogs...but this particular post is not listed to vote on. ??

McCafferty Himself said...

Jen, Thanks for the info. I do not know why it is not listed. I will look into it.

McCafferty Himself

McCafferty Himself said...

Jen, I have checked further at the Humor-blogs web site. Redneck License Plates is listed now, but I don't know why it wasn't before. The guy who runs the Humor-blogs site (his name is Diesel - not Vin Diesel) works for Google and makes entirely too much money. So sometimes he slacks off on the humor-blogs site.

The same thing happens to professional athletes. Once they get the big contract, they don't hustle quite as hard because they are no longer lean and hungry.

Of course, I'm writing this in hopes that Diesel will see it so I can irritate him a bit.

Thanks for your input.

Jen said...

Thx mccafferty- I found it now and you got a point from me.
I would have given you three; for the extra work you had to do and the extra joke you provided here, but it wouldn't let me. :)

Anonymous said...

Hey buddy, have nt seen you around, what gives. It can't be that pesky job!! hey give me a shout.