Paris Watching

Poor Paris Hilton has decided to forego any appeal of her conviction of driving with a suspended license according to recent news reports. She has been scheduled to enter jail on June 5th, and some reports suggest that the billionaire heiress intends to report to the big house even earlier than that.

Those in the know claim that her sentence could be reduced to 23 days from the 45 days that she was sentenced to because of time off for good behavior. Of course, Paris may intend to behave properly once she enters the slammer, but, the real question is: Can a leopard change its spots?

Paris has not really behaved all that well outside of prison, so why does she think she will suddenly be capable of behaving any better inside? There may be other influences on the inside that intend to bait poor Paris into behaving badly just to ensure that the heiress spends the full 45 days of her sentence in the cooler. There are not that many folks doing time who have your charitable Christian attitude towards others. It would only take one sociopath to pick a fight with poor Paris, thereby making sure she remain incarcerated for the full 45 days.

However, one can also be sure that a substantial chunk of the Hilton fortune is now being spent to pave Paris’ path toward the straight and narrow. Her lawyers are probably busy hiring a few protectors to look out for her while she visits the County’s Century Regional Detention Facility for her government sponsored rehabilitation. Those knightly types may well be both on the government payroll as staff at the county facility and others who are, themselves, spending time there involuntarily.

The media have reported that this particular government facility houses inmates (doesn’t that sound good? Paris Hilton: inmate) in two bed cells. That means that poor Paris will have a roommate. Imagine the payroll that lucky stiff will get to take proper care of Paris while she is housed at county expense.

It must be so nice to have the kind of spare change that enables you to influence people so readily. But that is a status that this second generation son of Irish immigrants can only imagine in his dreams. As a common working stiff, all the extra cash coming in goes right back out to afford life’s basics.

Here is to June 5th. It promises to be an eventful time that could entertain us common folk considerably. It isn’t that often that celebrities are convicted of anything in California any more, and that makes Paris watching all the more enjoyable these days.

Copyright 2007. All rights reserved. Seamus McCafferty.

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