A Few Humorous Lessons From Life

Here are a few lessons one eventually learns from life:

• Never be afraid to try something new. Remember that a lone amateur built the Ark. A large group of professionals built the Titanic.

• Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

• Never lick a steak knife.

• Never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests that you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment.

• People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.

• There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness."

• There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people to make a big deal about your birthday. That time is age eleven.

--Thanks to Dave Barry