Tuesday, July 8, 2008

Redneck Hand Grenade

We are in a sort of redneck state of mind today, and what could be more redneck than hand grenades?

Ever wonder what might happen if rednecks were allowed to carry hand grenades? Surely they would carry grenades while hunting, which means that Vice Presidents could do so too.

Eventually we would see a news report that Vice President Dick Cheney blew up a lawyer while quail hunting. Naturally, the lawyer would insist that the explosion was his fault, not the Vice President's.

"It was imprudent of that attorney to have been standing so near that quail when the Vice President was hunting with hand grenades," said the white house spokesman.

At least, if you hunted quail with hand grenades, all of the bird's feathers would be plucked automatically. But so would most of the rest of the bird. Not much bird left to eat at all, actually.

But it's the thrill of the hunt that we really seek. Food gathering qualifies as a mere secondary goal and is not even remotely significant.

And, strangely enough, that is also the mind set of the lads in our first video, which covers this issue quite thoroughly, thank you. Have a look.

One need not be an adult to wear the redneck label. The young lad on the bike in this next video is well on his way to becoming a full blown redneck, if he has not already arrived there.

But the kid was obviously talked into this stunt. He apparently has several accomplices in the remarkably "intelligent" video. There are two photographers on screen right plus the motorcyclist who helped the teen pick up enough speed to enable the loud smack when the biker and the sign violently meet.

You can also hear the muffled snickering in the background after the biker crouches below the sign in a daze.

Gather one highly impressionable teenager with two or three young men who are only slightly older, and, voila!, you suddenly have a teen willing to do just about anything to fit in with the older guys.

It clearly must be James Bond behind the wheel in our last video because this driver is one cool customer as he waits on the train tracks until the last possible moment to accelerate his vehicle out of the train's path. There was not even one second to spare.

If you were able to time the gap between the car leaving the tracks and the train arriving at the intersection, it must be only a fraction of a second. But that is clearly what the videographer wanted.

The near miss is what makes the video worth watching. No one gets worked up about a three second near miss. But a near miss of less than one second will make the video popular all over the Internet.

My guess is the driver is another teenager, and he is probably driving the folks' car. If this kid lives long enough, he may make a terrific movie stunt man. However, if he continues taking chances like this, the kid may well be history before he has an opportunity to grow into any kind of man.

Have you tried Redneck Graffiti?
Perhaps Jeff Foxworthy Redneck Humor?
Redneck Cell Phone Call
Redneck High School Reunion
Redneck Window Washer
Redneck Power Windows
Redneck Mercedes

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Anonymous said...

Buddy, I hope these fools are up in your part of the country, if so keep them. My GOD people are stupid!!

Connie said...

Hunting quail with a hand grenade--HA HA HA! Not much left would be an understatement, I think! :D

As for the videos, all I can say is YIKES! Some people just don't have the good sense that God gave a goose.

McCafferty Himself said...

Jimmy, Yeah the guys with the hand grenades live just down the block. We go to the same church. I'll send them down your way for a winter vacation.

Daisy, I have yet to meet a goose with sense. They are always walking right in front of my car.

McCafferty Himself

Connie said...

HA HA HA! You made me laugh out loud. That's just an old saying my grandma used to say.

Where are you driving, McCafferty, that the geese are walking in front of your car? Mostly, I just see them flying around here. Only place I see them walking is around a pond or other body of water.

And I guess if geese don't have any sense, and these guys don't even have as much as a goose, than these guys are in kind of a bad way, aren't they? :D

McCafferty Himself said...

Daisy, Every day on my way to work I have to pass two large ponds where the local geese hang out. Some mother goose will frequently stop traffic because she decides to cross the road to take her brood from one pond to the other.

They will parade one behind the other, waddling across the road. One of the youngsters will invariably dawdle, as youngsters are prone to do, and create a traffic jam.

They are remarkably cute, but I see no good sense in the geese during this parade. There is usually at least one motorist who gets ticked off waiting on the parade and he will try to pass all of the vehicles by driving on the road's shoulder.

Sometimes the results are tragic. I think your grandmother was wrong on this one.