Tuesday, September 18, 2007

OJ Simpson and the Un-Robbery

OJ Simpson’s antics last week are proof that a leopard does not change its spots. In case you have not heard, Simpson, who was acquitted in 1995 of murdering his ex-wife, Nicole Brown Simpson, and her friend, Ron Goldman, has been arrested and charged with two counts of robbery with a deadly weapon, two counts of assault with a deadly weapon, and conspiracy to commit robbery and burglary with a deadly weapon.

Those charges are all felonies, and the robbery charges alone could get the ex-football star 30 years in the slammer.

The charges stem from an incident in which Simpson and a few associates armed with guns allegedly robbed two sports memorabilia dealers at the Palace Station Hotel-Casino in Las Vegas last week. Simpson, who is already foolishly talking to the media, claims that he was merely reclaiming stolen personal items.

TMZ.com has an audio recording tape of the actual robbery. The tape was recorded by Thomas Riccio, part owner of the auction house Universal Rarities. It seems that Riccio tagged along with Simpson during the robbery to prove that the items Simpson recovered were really his..

On the tape you hear someone say “You, against the motherf*****g wall.”

Simpson claims that the items he took were stolen from him and that he was merely trying to recover his own property.

Now, that is completely understandable. I always bring along a gun or two when I try to reclaim my stolen property, don’t you?

Let’s get the facts straight here. You barge into a hotel room unannounced, with guns. You tell the occupants to get “against the motherf*****g wall,” and you take a few items--some of which may be yours and some of which are not yours.

Nope. That doesn’t sound like a robbery to me. It must be an un-robbery.

Simpson, who is now 60 year old, is being held without bail. Most folks mellow out by the time they are 60, but maybe some kids never grow up.

Aren’t celebrities fun? They are so busy doing so many dumb things that you just cannot keep up with them. I can hardly wait to read about the next dumb thing one of them does.

If these celebrities continue to behave in such a foolish manner, we are going to have to start licensing them just to keep them in line. You want to be a celebrity? Get a license first.

I can think of a few who would probably flunk the exam.

More celebrity humor...

Stumble Upon Toolbar


David Oliver said...

McCafferty you might have just invented a new term. :)

McCafferty Himself said...

Davo, You need new terms with OJ. If you will remember his trial back in 1995, he is the master of plausible deniability.

If it doesn't fit, you must acquit. OJ probably intends to try to convince another jury of his peers that it is possible he didn't do it because he could not steal what was already his.

David Oliver said...

Good point; but even an un-robbery using a gun or physical force is still something civilized people cannot tolerate.