Tuesday, May 1, 2007

A Few Humorous Lessons From Life

Here are a few lessons one eventually learns from life:

  • Never be afraid to try something new. Remember that a lone amateur built the Ark. A large group of professionals built the Titanic.
  • Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
  • Never lick a steak knife.
  • Never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests that you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment.
  • People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.
  • There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness."
  • There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people to make a big deal about your birthday. That time is age eleven.
--Thanks to Dave Barry

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Anonymous said...

Fine post and good advice. Might I add, "never ask a man wearing more than 10 items of jewelery if he can spell his own name"